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I’m a 30 year old man and I couldn’t imagine chasing 18 year olds. I teach college students, I speak to 18 year olds regularly. They’re not for me.
When I was a teen I wonder if I’m older if I would still be attracted to teens. I was training a coworker a few years ago, and she’s fresh out of highschool. As soon as we diviated from work conversations I can feel any miniscule amount of attraction I had drain out from my body.
I experience this too, what happened in that conversation that drained you?
For me it’s social media. I’m old enough that I don’t do social media. But 95% of teenagers’ lives revolve around it. I can’t relate and have no desire to.
I’m old enough that I don’t do social media.
-@Cryophilia@lemmy.world on social media Lemmy
Edit: Or perhaps I am wrong
Social media is defined as a website or application that enables us to create and share content. A social network is alternatively a website or application that enables us to communicate with one another by posting information, comments, and messages.
So I guess Lemmy would be considered social network instead. I didn’t even know there was a difference.
Edit 2: OK, it seems most people consider Reddit a social media, but others debate it. And Lemmy is fairly similar.
I guess I made a comment only to bamboozle myself.Huge difference between an anonymous social network and one where your real identity is out there.
By that definition literally any website with user-generated content is social media.
Are Steam Community pages social media?
Reddit is not social media because it’s not about social interaction, because it’s anonymous. It’s not social if it’s anonymous.
That’s how I think about it. I avoided social media my entire life, even though I was the perfect age all along: xanga/MySpace in middle school, Facebook opened to everyone when I was in high school, Instagram came about when I was traveling/living my adult life in my 20s…but I’m glad I avoided it. Reddit, when I used it, struck me as very different. It’s not about you. It’s about anonymity and news/memes. If that’s social media, all of the internet is social media.
Lemmy is all the social media I have nowadays. I wouldn’t change it.
There is a big difference between sex and a relationship.
If I werent married I’d absolutely screw a woman half my age, but dating one… I see complications.
But that’s… not the issue here? Men are much more attractive when they are 20 compared to 40 as well.
That doesn’t make me creep around university trying to get into their pants. It also doesn’t inspire me to write sexist stuff online, etc.
Im saying that its biologically healthy to look at a young attractive person (of your preferred gender) and go “Yep, I would really like to do things with that person” It is however societaly problematic to be a perv in trying to make it happen and does raise some awkward questions about what a guy is really looking for if he wants to be with someone half his age.
As for the sexist stuff online. You ever seen some womens wishlists on dating sites? Now I aint saying shes a gold digger… but you know the rest of it.
Please be at least 36
Turning 40 this year.
But how about 22? 24? 21 maybe?
Most of the males between 27-32yo I know would definetely do an 18yo girl given the chance, but none of them are actively looking for one because it is weird.
I guess it is more like a fantasy kind of deal. If I had to guess the reason is that young women are more sexually active than 30yo women. Friends with gfs always complain that it’s pretty hard to get them in the mood, like they have to beg. Men are just more sexual than women in general.
Just had a friend break up with his gf because she would use sex as a manipulation tool.
Young women are not more sexually active. There’s a ton of research that younger people are less and less sexual. So maybe stop making things up and posting them online.
I mean technically since you have not provided any of this research you are also just making things up and posting them online. Regardless of whether or not you’re correct giving no source, and if asked saying “do your own research” (which you haven’t done I’m just doing an inb4) just makes you sound like one of those crazy conspiracy theorists or something
It’s a fairly well known stat for awhile now: Teens are having less sex.
But that says nothing about the male/female split, or the age split. This is just comparing teenagers of today with teenagers of yesterday.
“If I had to guess”. I was guessing, followed by personal experiences… I never said “here’s the absolute truth”.
You know it is possible to correct someone without being a total ass? Plus, I wasn’t talking about facts but instead about what males think. If you asked 1000 males who they think is more sexually active between a 20yo or a 40yo, what do you think the results would be.
Some confidently incorrect shit here lol.
Older faces are rated as less attractive than younger faces and treated like a category when making aesthetic judgments. Older perceivers are less influenced by the age of the viewed face than younger and middle-aged perceivers. Men, more than women, distinguish more clearly between faces when judging attractiveness, especially in female faces. Aging has less of an effect on judgments of elegance than beauty and gorgeousness.https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0001691821001359
Previous research examining stereotypes of the elderly also found that older adults were judged to be less attractive (Ebner, 2008; Löckenhoff et al., 2009), and other research has shown that age stereotypes are linked not simply to chronological age, but also to physical appearance. Specifically, unattractive physical qualities, such as wrinkling, gray hair, and baldness, are associated with more negative impressions of elderly faces (Hummert, 1994; Muscarella and Cunningham, 1996; Hummert et al., 1997). In addition, Zebrowitz et al. (2003) found that, compared with younger faces, older faces showed greater resemblance to faces with genetic anomalies and this contributed not only to impressions of older faces as less attractive, but also to impressions of them as less healthy, sociable, and intelligent than younger faces. More generally, the well documented attractiveness halo effect (Eagly et al., 1991) provides reason to believe that the lower attractiveness of older faces would augment negative stereotoypes, like incompetence, and weaken positive stereotypes, like warmth. Older and younger faces differ in many ways besides attractiveness. One that will be examined in the present research is a possible difference in their resemblance to emotion expressions. Research has documented an influence of emotion resemblance on impressions of warmth and competence (Zebrowitz et al., 2007, 2010) and, as discussed more fully below, there is reason to expect differences between younger and older faces.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5627340/
Like YA, OA showed both the attractiveness halo effect and the babyface stereotype. However, OA showed weaker effects of attractiveness on impressions of untrustworthiness, and only OA associated higher babyfaceness with greater competence. There also was own-age accentuation, with both OA and YA showing stronger face stereotypes for faces closer to their own age. Age differences in the strength of the stereotypes reflected an OA positivity effect shown in more influence of positive facial qualities on impressions or less influence of negative ones, rather than vice versa.
lol. Try reading the comment you replied to. They didn’t say anything about attraction.
Young women are not more sexually active. There’s a ton of research that younger people are less and less sexual. So maybe stop making things up and posting them online.
Less sexually active and less sexual are very different statements to me. I was addressing the second portion.
Not only that but a large portion of this entire threads argument is based on how people find each other attractive. Being promiscuous isn’t really relevant when the topic is about people in relationships with large age differences.
I suppose you could argue sexual promiscuity heightens your chance of getting into relationships with larger age differences, but I don’t have data to back that up. I doubt it’d be true if that’s what they’re contending but I wouldn’t care either way lol.
Less sexual still doesn’t mean less attractive though… ? I have no idea what you’re on about. Just rewind to the comment that person was replying to and the context is very clear:
If had to guess the reason is that young women are more sexually active than 30yo women. Friends with gfs always complain that it’s pretty hard to get them in the mood, like they have to beg.
Young women are not more sexually active. There’s a ton of research that younger people are less and less sexual [with each other as of late]
added that last bit because it was clearly referring to the studies coming out in the last few years or so that show that young people are having less sex today than previous generations did at similar ages.
Again, less sex has nothing to do with age differences. It sounds like everyone is just arguing about different things tangentially related to the meme lol.
Apparently y’all think people having less/more sex matters with age differences. I’m arguing 18 year olds are absolutely sexual regardless of how much more or less they’re having sex. And 18-25 are the peak years of attractiveness for nearly everyone.
They’re also the best time to have children even if our society makes it nearly impossible to have them between 18-25. That’s a sliding scale which basically gets worse every year after 25, not even 35.
Good luck telling people at 26 they’re already putting themselves and their children at risk though lol. After 35 has always been a stretch but our government refuses to help while the working class is so under the boot they can barely unionize.
https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/hestat/maternal-mortality/2021/maternal-mortality-rates-2021.htm
A lot of of younger women/girls are, in fact, much more sexually active. Especially these days because global birth control is known to permanently lower libido. Also, hormones.
This is just false. Women, on average, are most sexually active in their 30s. We have known this for ever… And somehow this garbage thought that young women are more sexual keeps showing up in male focused narratives.
I’m 46 and married, but if I was single, I absolutely wouldn’t want someone almost 30 years younger than me. We’d have so little in common! I suppose if you just look at women as objects to stick your dick into…
I’m dating someone 8 years younger than me and the only way I think it works is that she likes me enough to learn all the references I make she doesn’t understand.
My wife is only 2ish years younger than me, and she already doesn’t get some references purely through upbringing. Only a couple things have been “before her time”
However, her best friend recently turned 24, married to someone who just hit 21. It feels like talking to children.
And since between the 2 of us we have 12 nieces and nephews under 15 and I speak to them whenever we’re visiting I feel like I can say with a little certainty, it reeeeally feels like talking to children sometimes.
It’s definitely more of a combination of disgust and secondhand embarrassment. When I was 18, my mid-30s manager was clearly into me and I definitely thought he was creepy and old and everyone made fun of him behind his back. Now that I’m on the other side, it doesn’t look any less pathetic. 18 year olds look like children because I’m old enough to be their parent, and the only thing I’ve ever felt for one is vaguely maternal affection. The idea of dating them is super gross.
OK I’ll be the one to go against the grain in these comments. I am a nearly 40 year old man and I would bang a hot college girl in an instant. I can’t help that.
Theres also a YAWNING FUCKING CHASM between “Yes, If I were single I would really like to have a woman almost half my age find me sexually attractive enough to fuck me” and going out of your way to try and make it happen.
Also, like none of those 35yo women ever went and flicked the bean after watching the 20yo who mows their lawn go shirtless in summer.
Oh for sure. I wouldn’t want to be a creepy guy to a young person. But the other comments were all like “I’m not even attracted to young beautiful women”
PC-pissing contest for 30-somethings. It’s a trend.
I’m not even attracted to young beautiful women
Depends entirely on how old the person saying it is which is will vary wildly from commenter to commenter.
No because 18-year-olds are kids. I’m not even close to 40 and I think 18-year-olds are kids (especially from an emotional maturity perspective). 20s would be like the absolute youngest.
I’m in my 40s and I’m in a college town and I honestly can’t tell whether I’m looking at a college student or a high school student half the time.
In terms of basic aesthetics, I can appreciate the beauty of an 18-year-old, but I can appreciate the beauty of a 5-year-old in an aesthetic sense. Sexually, they look way too young to me.
I’m a guy and when I was 18 I got a lot of interest from women in their 40s. Sexual attraction is just natural.
Yeah, but it didn’t start at 18 did it. A number of women hit on me when I was under 18 and no one would think anything of it. We are groomed into it starting with calling 6 year old boys handsome young men and he’s a cute kid.
Is it really grooming if it’s just how everyone in society acts?
Yes.
“Grooming” to me always implied the actions of an individual, with the intent of generating a sexual relationship with that one person. It’s got a level of intent that the lady at the grocery store calling me a “handsome young man” and then never seeing me again doesn’t have.
Did you mean FOR an instant?
Also yes.
There’s a lot you can help here, though.
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Don’t be a creep.
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Don’t lie to your partner about this.
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Don’t spin some weird sexist or misogynistic bs theories out of your attraction.
That’s it. Doesn’t seem too hard but you’d be surprised how many are struggling with these simple rules of decency and respect.
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Nobody should be judging any two adults about a consenting nonabusive relationship.
After all, women polish the pearl to only age appropriate book porn that has nothing to do with poorly narrated but critically succesful actual rape fantasies built on having no idea what consent means lol.
You can think a 30 year old and 18 year old shouldn’t be dating or fucking all you want. But I’m pretty sure the old pricks and women scoffing at it are doing more virtue signalling than they are lol.
Don’t want people fucking 18 year olds? Raise the age of consent.
It was a real eye opener to me when I started dating to find out just how many women would literally ask to be raped. I probably attract that type more than average because of my physical stature, but still it really creeped me out. Never took anyone up on it.
Consensual non-consent != rape.
Though personally, I find that shit a landmine just waiting to explode - that and frankly “Yes” is hotter to me than “No*”. But more power to those able to navigate the boundaries successfully where everyone’s happier and satisfied for it. If nothing else, master communicators.
Edit: For those who downvoted, seriously, I get it. But it’s definitely a thing, and some people happily participate. I’ve met some - usually very nice folks (as are most people I’ve met involved in kink communities). I’ll also underscore that this is very much NOT the norm - but still more common than people might think.
Decentish broad-strokes article here: https://www.choosingtherapy.com/consensual-non-consent/
The age of consent isn’t the issue, it’s the objectification of people that haven’t even hit physical maturity yet.
Physical maturity is such a terrible thing to quantify lmfao.
And again, age of consent is ABSOLUTELY THE ISSUE IF YOU BELIEVE 18 YEAR OLDS ARENT SEXUALLY MATURE.
It’s literally, not even metaphorically, the crux of the issue if you believe there’s one.
There’s enough illegal shit for me to be disgusted with, I don’t have time to be bothered by any relationship between two consenting adults regardless of how little sense that relationship might make to me.
A friend of mine with daughters told me that he couldn’t see the appeal in teen girls, because “I have two; they don’t even know how to wipe properly.”
That might be a family problem more than a teen girl problem. 😒
Reminded of:
Note, the last woman (Eden):
reportedly shouldn’t be on the graph. Ol’ Leo’s single apparently.
Classic. Seen this chart a few years ago, funny how he’s still sticking to it. Tbh for me it goes from “cool/funny” when he’s in his 30s to a bit “weird” now that he’s around 50, but whatever works for him and his partners.
Normal dudes think those guys are creeps too. I’m in my 40s, and have several guy friends my age who date, and it’s always with women their age.
Ironic. I’m in to 30-something women and even 40-something women, but the catch is they have to not be mentally ill
That goes for any relationship. Men and women. It is harder the older as so many more are paired, and the single ones have a higher likelihood of having… reasons.
Or just baggage, which isn’t particularly healthy for your mental state. When looking at my circle of friends, at the latest when your ~35 you will have lived through cheating or other types of betrayal. People often are just assholes to each other and hurt people hurt people.
I see this as an additional reason though, to not date someone who is still very young.
Moms friends😩
Friends’ mums…
Yeah, if I ever conquer this damn divorce and my general anxiety, I’m just gonna meet people and hopefully find someone with few enough red flags that I can feel comfortable around them
Relevant username
🎵 Stacey’s mom has got it goin’ on 🎶
OPE
I think I have a theory, they’re assuming other people are just as incapable of empathy or sympathy as they are, therefore the only reason in their mind that anyone would have an issue with it is jealousy.
Add into that the insecure need to make other people feel bad, and they think by loudly proclaiming it for all to hear, assuming that you will feel bad upon hearing their opinion.
So long story short: they’re a piece of shit and their opinions should be ignored by all.
I keep getting older, but they all stay the same age.
Jesus Christ, this. And the men rarely even realize/acknowledge how predatory they’re being.
I’d be flattered if an 18yo girl found me attractive, but holy hell I wouldn’t have wanted to date somebody with the social-intellectual maturity of most 18 yo’s even when I was a lot closer to that age myself.
The ones that do want that, I’d say they’re either stuck in the mentality of that age being their own glory-days or wanting somebody they can easily dominate/control, quite likely both.
If you think women are being preyed on at that age, then the age of consent needs to be raised or Romeo and Juliet laws refined
Just gonna drop this…
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0005789405800395
(It’s also on https://sci-hub.se if anyone needs it entirely)
Yeah, I don’t get it. I’m 38m and don’t find college-age girls attractive anymore. Even in terms of physical attraction, I’m more attracted to women my age. 18 just looks like a kid to me.
I’m 38 and anyone under 30 looks like a child to me by now. 28, sure, they’re probably old enough despite the lack of life experience and looking a little young, but 18-year-olds still have baby fat! Gross.
40 here. Girl friends constantly need to assure me young women we see are “old enough” bc I think anyone under 30 looks like they’re 13.
Do you understand what you are doing here? Age is a protected class same as race or gender for example.
