Yeah, Like, we are facing a world where faking a celebrity’s voice and having it respond to everything you say completely life-like is a matter of minutes while the “smart” speaker in your house talks like a robocall from the 90s and doesn’t understand a single thing when you don’t adhere to a very specific command syntax.

It’s no better with Siri.

An example:

“Hey Siri, play some Slayer on music”

“You’ll have to unlock your iPhone first”

Picks up phone to unlock with face unlock while driving so Siri will let me even use her.

“Hey siri play some slayer on Music”

“Sorry, there is no playlist called Slayer in your music library”

“Hey siri play some slayer from Apple Music”

“Okay, calling Sarah”

The only use I have for Google Assistant is to call people when I’m in my car, and even then it doesn’t work correctly.

• “Call <wife’s first name>” -> Calls a business in a neighbouring country which happens to have the same (common) name as my wife.
• “Call <wife’s first and last name>” -> Calls my wife.
• “Call <father’s first and last name>” -> Calls another business in the same neighbouring country which name contains my father’s first and last name.
• “Call <father’s first name>” -> Calls my father.

Wtf really. Those two businesses must keep wondering who’s that number that keeps calling them at absurd times from another country and never leaves a message, because I can never remember who I must use the full name of…

I just asked that the other day to do what I would consider. One of the most basic tasks, add something to my shopping list. It didn’t and I got to the store and it said I had no list, so I really don’t know why I have them anymore except for speaker abilities

Looking through that list, I kept saying to myself, “I didn’t know Google Assistant could do that!” and in a few cases, “I tried to do that and it didn’t work, so I assumed Google Assistant couldn’t do that.”

I recall some of these things being advertised as great news features for their marketing drives.

They might have laid off or reassigned people tasked with maintaining these features

I use to hate Microsoft so much for this with their early hardware I used to buy.

They would abandoned the devices by not providing the drivers needed for newer versions of Windows leaving the device a brick unless you want to still run 98 or XP.

I miss being able to search my screen that was so useful

Yep same. I set my alarm in the evening, I set a lot of timers while working in the kitchen, and I fill in my shopping list while going through stuff in the pantry.

Sometimes I let it play some background noise, pause/resume music or a video, and I have a routine that reminds me of things during work days. That’s it. And it works well enough for that, but eh, still annoying that they now took both the smartness of Google Now and the sheer broad applicability of Assistant away.

That being said I wish android had a dedicated search browser similar to Google search app. I’m searching on my browser and I have soooooooooooo many open DDG tabs it’s ridiculous. Nothing wild, just a searchbar with history that won’t delete itself when I hit back too many times and a web view to open links.

I found, ages ago, that I never used the google app for something I couldn’t do in my browser. Like, this was back in the days just after Google Now died—all the features that almost worked just got scrapped because they really didn’t work. It allowed me to keep up with one college sports team, but other than that, opening the app was just a slower version of opening up my firefox and searching there.

So that’s what I do now. I disabled the Google app, and I don’t miss it at all.

It depends what you mean by “more than the basics.” Some things I used to do which could be considered more complicated have already been handicapped (like using 3rd party services). Others aren’t reliable so I stopped using them. Personally, I have no problem trying stuff out and speaking in the way the assistant understands, but there are very few complicated actions which are supported and reliable!

I have a few of these devices in my place as a part of my home automation. It’s been struggling the last year with not confusing the basics and not mixing up the beginning of a news podcast as my voice commands. It seems like the newest display I own has the most issues.

I generally just use it to control and schedule lights and devices with smart plugs. The odd time I try to set timers or reminders but I’ve never really been a big voice command person. I too struggle on the best way to get it to play my YouTube music likes list. I just cast from my phone instead.

One thing it mostly gets right is stopping whatever is playing.

With my Soundbar no longer being new enough to work with Google Assistant I’m not looking forward to when the rest of my smart lights, switches, and plugs join it as we go forward.

I use it for: general search queries, navigating to a place, turning on lights, setting timers, setting alarms, checking the weather, playing music, setting an appointment, setting reminders (though I prefer Todoist for this), listening to the NPR update.

Of the list of discontinued features here, I’ll actually miss driving mode, which I found handy to reduce my distraction on the road by reading notifications to me, allowing me to open Pocket Casts or Libby in a couple clicks, etc. I also used the feature occasionally to resume audiobooks from Play Books where I left off.

I use it for screen translation and screen searches, but only on the days when those buttons exist because Assistant can’t keep a UI on my phone for more than a week.

I gave up on it entirely probably a year or so ago, as I found if anything it was getting worse.

I use it to make phone calls from my wireless headphones, that’s about it.

Hopefully this makes people realize that billion dollar corporations are not where innovation takes place anymore and instead abandons billionaire assholes and their enshittified companies. If we’re going to dream nonsense, dream big.