Yesterday my girlfriend sent me a message to tell me that she thinks we have to stop our relationship. Several reasons where said, but after 2 days of thinking I understand that yes, our relation was unsustainable.
Now I stoped crying and I’m waiting tomorrow, because we’ll see each other and explain what we have in our minds and hearts. I’m full of hope because I’m pretty sure I know what’s the problem, and I have the solutions for it.
Honestly I don’t really know why I’m writing here but you know it’s just good to write somewhere. I will update this post if things are going bad.
I wish everyone on Earth will one day find someone as much incredible as the girl I love. I wish love for all of you!
I’m full of hope because I’m pretty sure I know what’s the problem, and I have the solutions for it.
It’s great to have hope, but you need to prepare yourself for disappointment too. You need to understand that she might not be feeling the same way as you, and might not want to continue the relationship.
I don’t mean to sound like a pessimist, but I’ve been in your position, and I’ve seen friends who have, and getting caught by surprise hurts even more.
I hope things work out for you. Good luck :)
Hey man, I’m sorry you’re in a shitty situation, but know that things go on and you will too regardless of the outcome. It’s good that you think you’ve got the problems figured out, but like others have said you need to be prepared to accept that there might not be something that needs to be “fixed” and it may just be time to move on. If that’s the case, take the lesson you’ve learned from this relationship and be ready to apply it to your future relationships.
Good luck my friend.
Brace yourself for both situations though - if you’ve figured it out, then great - see if you can work on it and bring things back together.
Be ready for something that will either completely blindside you or something you don’t even agree with though - I hope you’re right but there’s nothing worse than having your legs done at the last minute when you think you’ve got on top of things.
You got this.
e: /u/Tippon knows the score ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )
But be prepared that you’ve figured out our and she still wants to end it.
Often when someone has decided to end things they have already put in the effort they’re going to (even if that’s none) and they’re done trying.
Yeah absolutely, thanks for the input.
Ultimately - and I hate sounding like a Debbie Downer here - but the chances of this working out are slim… but hey, I’m an optimist and I wish OP the best!
Others have said it before me, just chiming in to add my support. I’ve been there, it sucked, it took a long time, but I’m (pretty much, probably) over it.
If she has reached out to you, her mind is likely already made up, and any attempt to argue against the breakup will be unproductive and might even be seen as hostile.
Close that door firmly but politely, and don’t ever allow it to be re-opened. Even now, see the relationship as being in your rear-view mirror; useful as a learning experience to grow upon, but no longer a going concern.
Also be prepared to see her (in her social media posts, etc.) with someone else within 24-48hrs. Women rarely leave a relationship without having another one already lined up. Most men don’t employ this strategy whatsoever, which can make this kind of behaviour deeply painful and dehumanizing for us.
I mean, we’re still mourning the loss of the relationship, and seeing this is like a kick in the nuts – a woman’s ability to move on so quickly makes it seem like the relationship (and by proxy, us) had absolutely no meaning to her whatsoever, as if we never had any more value to her than a change of clothing.
Your first 2 paragraph can be some solid advice but the rest… you should have stopped there.
If you feel you’re nothing more than a new set of clothes to a potential partner, that may be a you-problem. And I don’t mean you’re a bad person, I can’t know that, but you may have a problem with your self worth or your choice of partners
If you feel you’re nothing more than a new set of clothes to a potential partner, that may be a you-problem.
It’s not being a new set of clothes to a potential partner.
It’s putting your heart into an existing relationship, and then seeing it discarded so immediately and abruptly that it seems like all your efforts to date have been deemed worthless, and by proxy, that you yourself have always been worthless despite your own buy-in into the relationship.
And sweet gaslighting, placing all of the blame and responsibility onto the guy. So predictable.
It takes two to tango. The chance of the guy being entirely at fault is, statistically speaking, equal to the chances of the woman being entirely at fault. That’s what equality means.
It’s one thing to be approached with a list of issues for months or years, and doing nothing about them. That is a “you-problem”.
It’s quite another thing to be sailing along without a clue in the world and then be staring down a combo hit of previously-unvoiced complaints plus a breakup demand. That is an insult wearing lame-duck-excuse clothing being slapped in your face.
Sounds like this person was a terrible communicator and needs to learn to confront those issues as they arise. So definitely not just a you problem. But not just a them problem, either.
Went from good to women-hating incel bullshit in two paragraphs
men are faster to marry again after divorce or spouse death, according to census reports.
in my anecdotal experience, monkey branching in relationships is a common shitty behavior. if op’s gf is doing that, they’re better off not trying to get back with her.
