The Grace Hopper Celebration is meant to unite women in tech. This year droves of men came looking for jobs.

  • Neato@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    ITT: men who can’t ever admit they might be the problem. So many excuses here it’s pathetic.

    edit: I love the “not all men” and “not me”. As always, it’s not all men. But it’s enough. And the men here getting so defensive really prove the point. And before anyone gets into it, it’s not really the sex or gender. It’s the societal expectations and allowances that encourage men to engage in abusive shit like we see in the article here. I.e. the patriarchy and those who support it.

    • 01011@monero.town
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      1 year ago

      Can you expound on that statement?

      It sounds as if the organizers were too quick to take the $650 from attendees and those willing to pay were very eager to pony up the cash in the hope of networking.

      • TwilightVulpine@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        The attendees should be able to tell that they would be intruding even if the organization didn’t bother to check that. Both were in the wrong.

        • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          How would they separate those intruding and those who the event was made for? Seems like a hard issue to solve

          • TwilightVulpine@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            It’s almost like women are disfavored in the tech industry and this is an attempt to make up for that.

            Can you stop staring at your own navel for even a second, Bob?

    • sudneo@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Problem for what?

      I exist, I need a job to live, I have job, I try my best not to be an asshole, I fight (and vote) for a better society, for social and civil rights.

      Why exactly I - since I am a man I feel included in your statement - should be THE problem?

      • Touching_Grass@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I try my best not to be an asshole

        Maybe people are getting too in the weeds with this because muh culture war

        But it is an asshole move to show up to an event meant for one group of people when the original issue is how over represented your group is. I’m a developer. The grind sucks. But I would be an asshole to show up to this.

        • sudneo@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          But it is an asshole move to show up to an event meant for one group of people when the original issue is how over represented your group is. I’m a developer. The grind sucks. But I would be an asshole to show up to this.

          If I was out of job, I would honestly care less about the fact that “my group” is over represented. There is no white male lobby that pays my mortgage. That said, I - as in the actual me - would not go to such event either, but that’s also because I wouldn’t go to any job fair atm since I don’t need a job.

          • Touching_Grass@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            I would honestly care less about the fact that

            Sure, that’s what makes people behave like assholes. “I don’t care about X” is why we have a pretty shitty world in many areas.

            • sudneo@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              This is pure rhetoric, I can flip the argument:

              “You care more about the gender than about my material condition.”

              Also, the moment I need to let prevail abstract concepts over my material condition (i.e., caring about “my group” being over represented while I am out of a job) is the moment in which the class unity is broken. Me and those women who are out of a job have so much in common that there is no reason for me to consider us part of two separate groups. That’s the whole point of my argument, I advocate for worker solidarity and I absolutely feel that this attitude is overall harmful for it.

              • Touching_Grass@lemmy.world
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                I don’t agree. I can be at a disadvantage and still accept that another group has even greater disadvantages that I would continue or make worse by stepping into something they built. Its freeloading in a pretty assholish way. I’m not just some animal trying to get a nut with narrow focus that says fuck everything else. I can job search and find my own opportunities without freeloading

                • sudneo@lemmy.world
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                  1 year ago

                  Let me say this: to me this seems the completed detached thought of someone who never faced material difficulties.

                  I can only think this if I am in a position of privilege where I can choose. I absolutely can’t relate with any of this, I completely agree to disagree.

                  • Touching_Grass@lemmy.world
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                    1 year ago

                    That would only make sense coming from a position where you assume people have no sense of integrity.

                    First issue is assuming your material difficulties is some how superior to others.

                    Second assuming the only thing that matters when facing material difficulties is how to advantage only yourself.

                    Lots of people in life are capable of enduring difficult times while also sacrificing or placing themselves behind others. I don’t see how you don’t understand that. I can promise you I have faced and continue to face many difficulties which all have taught me life lessons. One of the most important lessons is that overcoming those times by hurting others is not a position I enjoy.

                  • ZombieTheZombieCat@lemm.ee
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                    1 year ago

                    this seems the completed detached thought of someone who never faced material difficulties.

                    Yes, all of your comments do.

            • cricket97@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              You have a job and likely an established career, to be perfectly honest your view does not mean much here. There are people struggling to get a job after going into major debt for college loans, you bet your ass they’re going to grind until they get a job. Maybe put actual policy in place to prevent males from attending if that’s what is desired.

              • Touching_Grass@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                I had to uproot my entire family after losing my 15 year career in an Industry I no longer could work in. I had to attend school and feed multiple mouths plus parent only to end up in an over saturated job market prone with agism. For one year i had to go back to living with my parents to attend school where I commuted 3 hours a day. So don’t give me this shit about what I am or not based on clues you think you uncovered from a couple comments Scooby Doo. I know the grind more than most

                And you know what I never once thought? I never once thought “hey I better go to that women’s job fair.”

        • steltek@lemm.ee
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          I would be an asshole to show up to this.

          That’s the part I really don’t get. If you’re cis male looking for a job, do you really think crashing this event is going to reflect favorably on you and that you’d be more likely to land a job? People are going to look at you and think that you have good judgment and won’t be a problem at all? What the heck is the thought process that makes this a good plan?

          • Cryophilia@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            I assume most tech bros have a mental form of tinnitus going on in their brains in lieu of thoughts. Just a constant bzzzzzzzzzz

        • Dude123@lemmy.world
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          It is legally discrimination. What part of that isn’t understood? Substitute women for any other group based on height, age, race, religion, or sexual preference and see that your argument doesn’t hold water.

      • Nindelofocho@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        seriously this happens a lot people will go off and say word for word that a whole group of people are evil and bad when its a subset of a group. When called on it they may simply say that its not talking about the group as a whole or “not for you” if they dont genuinely believe the whole group is bad (which is wrong and discriminatory)

        The issue is the discrepancy of what you say in relation to what you mean will lead others to believe in what you say but not what you mean and this harms those just trying to survive normally.

        • Thinker@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          The first comment literally wasn’t talking about a whole group of people, they were talking about the men in this thread leaving comments that illustrate the exact reason why this space created by and for women and non-binary people should be about and for the benefit of women and non-binary people.

          • sudneo@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            It also didn’t explain why, nor made the distinction you are making. So yeah, it was a blanket statement to karma farm on Lemmy…

      • Fedizen@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Being an asshole is not illegal. Obeying the law doesn’t mean you’re a good person.

        If these dudes were - as the article quotes describe - pushing, shoving, cutting in line then like I don’t see why you feel you need to identify with these particular dudes.

        You can absolutely wait until some guy actually is being unfairly treated before dying on this hill.

        • sudneo@lemmy.world
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          Being an asshole is not illegal. Obeying the law doesn’t mean you’re a good person

          Oh I very much agree, and I don’t think I have suggested otherwise anywhere?

          Also, the pushing, shoving etc. Is a completely different matter compared to what I am interested to discuss. I have a problem believing that any single men has gone there pushing and shoving but I have no problem believing that some did, and that is being an asshole.

          Anyway, as I said I can’t care less about this argument, I am interested in the rest of the argument, the part in which it’s not the behavior being criticized but the very fact that they were there, as males.

      • Neato@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        It’s abusive to invade women’s spaces as a man looking to take advantage. Stay out.

        Oh look, you’re all up in this thread a day late posting his horrid takes.

        • derf82@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Well, it seems to be considered abusive to have a men’s space at all, and if there is one, women are downright encouraged to invade it.

          The horrid tale is hating men for trying to get a job.

      • ComradeKhoumrag@infosec.pub
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        1 year ago

        I don’t support the actions of men in this article, but all gender roles are toxic, and there are societal expectations of men that are genuinely toxic.

        Again, women have gotten the shit end of the stick for muuuuch longer. I don’t want to minimize that. But saying mens rights activists are pathetic?

        60% of male suicides report no off behavior from the man before commiting suicide. This suggests it isn’t a mental illness causing the problem, but circumstances in their life cause them to kill themself because they truly see no other solution or way out for the predicament they’re in.

        How come men are twice as likely to be homeless than women?

        Why isn’t it socially acceptable for men to take on the “care taker roll” like a stay at home dad or a nurse?

        I could go on, but I don’t want to make this a rallying cry for men in a thread about a tech conference for women. I get meninsts is like a men’s rights group that was created to troll feminists, but men’s rights and woman’s rights should both just try and be egalitarian

        • JoBo@feddit.uk
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          1 year ago

          Yeah, that’s feminism, not “men’s rights”. There are non-toxic sections of the Men’s Movement which explicitly recognise that their aims are feminist but they’re almost invisible because they got overrun by toxic men who only wanted to blame all their problems on women and reclaim their right to rape and exploit them.

          This article is not perfect but it does make the point well:

          Part Four: A List of “Men’s Rights” Issues That Feminism Is Already Working On

          Feminists do not want you to lose custody of your children. The assumption that women are naturally better caregivers is part of patriarchy.

          Feminists do not like commercials in which bumbling dads mess up the laundry and competent wives have to bustle in and fix it. The assumption that women are naturally better housekeepers is part of patriarchy.

          Feminists do not want you to have to make alimony payments. Alimony is set up to combat the fact that women have been historically expected to prioritize domestic duties over professional goals, thus minimizing their earning potential if their “traditional” marriages end. The assumption that wives should make babies instead of money is part of patriarchy.

          Feminists do not want anyone to get raped in prison. Permissiveness and jokes about prison rape are part of rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.

          Feminists do not want anyone to be falsely accused of rape. False rape accusations discredit rape victims, which reinforces rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.

          Feminists do not want you to be lonely and we do not hate “nice guys.” The idea that certain people are inherently more valuable than other people because of superficial physical attributes is part of patriarchy.

          Feminists do not want you to have to pay for dinner. We want the opportunity to achieve financial success on par with men in any field we choose (and are qualified for), and the fact that we currently don’t is part of patriarchy. The idea that men should coddle and provide for women, and/or purchase their affections in romantic contexts, is condescending and damaging and part of patriarchy.

          Feminists do not want you to be maimed or killed in industrial accidents, or toil in coal mines while we do cushy secretarial work and various yarn-themed activities. The fact that women have long been shut out of dangerous industrial jobs (by men, by the way) is part of patriarchy.

          Feminists do not want you to commit suicide. Any pressures and expectations that lower the quality of life of any gender are part of patriarchy. The fact that depression is characterized as an effeminate weakness, making men less likely to seek treatment, is part of patriarchy.

          Feminists do not want you to be viewed with suspicion when you take your child to the park (men frequently insist that this is a serious issue, so I will take them at their word). The assumption that men are insatiable sexual animals, combined with the idea that it’s unnatural for men to care for children, is part of patriarchy.

          Feminists do not want you to be drafted and then die in a war while we stay home and iron stuff. The idea that women are too weak to fight or too delicate to function in a military setting is part of patriarchy.

          Feminists do not want women to escape prosecution on legitimate domestic violence charges, nor do we want men to be ridiculed for being raped or abused. The idea that women are naturally gentle and compliant and that victimhood is inherently feminine is part of patriarchy.

          Feminists hate patriarchy. We do not hate you.

          If you really care about those issues as passionately as you say you do, you should be thanking feminists, because feminism is a social movement actively dedicated to dismantling every single one of them. The fact that you blame feminists—your allies—for problems against which they have been struggling for decades suggests that supporting men isn’t nearly as important to you as resenting women. We care about your problems a lot. Could you try caring about ours?

          • steltek@lemm.ee
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            1 year ago

            This list comes across as very self-serving though. It’s basically saying men’s issues are only a problem for Feminism when it can be framed as also impacting women. I read the parent poster as calling for rising above a narrow single gender view of equal rights.

            • Ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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              It’s basically saying men’s issues are only a problem for Feminism when it can be framed as also impacting women.

              Well yes. Feminism is focused on the specific forms of inequality that women and folk perceived as women face.

              However, the root cause of that inequality often creates issues for everyone, not just women. So feminism isn’t “at odds” with mens rights, but rather, addressing the issues that women face will improve issues for men too, because of those shared root causes.

            • JoBo@feddit.uk
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              Sexism is inevitably a mirror. Treating girls and women differently inevitably has an impact on boys and men.

              If you can think of a legitimate demand to improve life for boys and men which is not also a feminist issue, name it.

              If you’re complaining that feminists aren’t backing up Men’s Rights Activists when they call for the right to rape and enserf women, then I can’t help you.

          • ComradeKhoumrag@infosec.pub
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            I agree with everything you posted, by why are the egalitarian ideals of feminism strictly a feminism thing and not a men’s rights / men’s movement. Or why not just label it “egalitarian”. Why does the label matter in the first place? If someone’s behavior is a demonstration they’re a hypocrite to feminist/men’s movement/egalitarian ideals, then critique the individual when it happens. Why generalize their behavior to the group as a whole?

            • Ragnell@kbin.social
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              1 year ago

              Because the assholes got to “men’s rights” “men’s movement” en masse, and you’ll spend your whole life critiquing individuals and find communities full of those individuals when you see those words.

          • JasSmith@kbin.social
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            1 year ago

            Yeah, that’s feminism, not “men’s rights”.

            No, that’s men’s rights. Feminism has done great things for women, and that’s awesome. But feminism is by women, for women. It doesn’t make any space for men’s issues. That’s why the men’s rights movement exists.

              • JasSmith@kbin.social
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                1 year ago

                You quoted a Jezebel article. Would you read an article I quoted from Andrew Tate? Don’t insult our intelligence please.

                • NightAuthor@lemmy.world
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                  1 year ago

                  Ok, well I’ll make the point they’re making. Since you apparently will read what I say.

                  What’s good for women is good for everyone. Fighting toxic masculinity and the patriarchy is ultimately beneficial to all genders.

                  • JasSmith@kbin.social
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                    What’s good for women is good for everyone.

                    While true, what’s good for men is also good for everyone. Inasmuch, we should also be working to address major systemic issues men face.