I’ve always been a “lurker” on all platforms and communities because when I do have a question or would like to contribute my first thought has become:
Actually, let me google it first
In which case I’ll usually have some answer. Usually it isn’t a complete answer but enough for me to not want to share my question anymore.
There are some things you cannot simply “google”. As a straight man, define “queer” to me about 5 to 10 years ago. I was on a dating sight and decent amount of women were putting this in their profile. I asked politely. Let me tell ya, it wasn’t a polite response.
Why are questions all of a sudden insults when the person may actually be ignorant and trying to educate themselves?
It’s because there are a great deal of people who will waste others’ time by trolling. There are many communities who have to endure people constantly asking folks to validate why they deserve to exist. Then to those folks there could be a few who may actually be open to conversation but it’s like mining the spam folder for honest messages. If at 10k ft it looks like it could be trolling it’s best for their mental health to just let the folder do what the folder does.
Oh absolutely. But there should be some sort of filter with people. If someone asks “is that a chow in your pic?” it’s not intentionally offensive. They included a picture. A question is harmless if it’s just pure inquisition.
Or, you know, maybe some people are assholes and we should not always look for excuses for them?
You put it on your profile on a dating site, so you should be OK with this as a conversation starter.
For example, I do not wear a Nirvana t-shirt in public because I don’t want some teenagers asking me if I know this great song “Smells Like Teen Spirit”.