There was a rather upsetting post recently that attracted a lot of apparently non-LGBT+ people with bad opinions. I’d like to remind everyone that “bee kind” includes not accepting, normalizing, and ignoring transphobic opinions and beliefs. We’re all together in this.
Here are some bad opinions I saw:
- “People need to be educated, and you’re not going to change their minds by becoming hostile.”
The first thing that’s obviously wrong with this is that it makes the people targeted by LGBTphobia appear to the the ones who are “overreacting” or being “hysterical,” but there’s more…
Certainly, education needs to happen, and patience is a virtue. A valid example of reasonable education to expect would be “I go by they/them now.” What education should not need to include on the part of the LGBT+ person is a defense of one’s validity as a human or one’s existence. Most people who think that it should point to examples like Daryl Davis, and I mean … good for him, but that’s not an example we all need to or even can/should follow. For many LGBT+ people, it can feel like a contant battle to live and be accepted. Expecting us to address every bad-faith argument or misguided belief on the part of LGBTphobes is … honestly, that’s just an offensive opinion in and of itself and very dismissive of reality.
- “[Famous person] literally did the bare minimum to support gay people, so I doubt they’re transphobic.”
Okay, first of all, I can only facepalm so hard before it creates a black hole that consumes the fabric of reality, but you said patient education is a thing we should do, so here it is: There are many, many people who claim to be “allies” while only supporting select groups within the LGBT+ spectrum. The reason I put “allies” in quotation marks is that these people are not allies. We are all in this together. You can’t be an ally for me, a cis gay person, without also supporting trans people. These are my siblings, my community too, and we should not tolerate it. Likewise, the LG people I’ve met who don’t support the BT+ don’t belong in this community. Full stop.
So no, supporting the LG is not really possible without supporting the BT+. Sorry, not sorry.
- “They’re from a different time.”
Absolutely one of the worst arguments I’ve ever heard, and I say this as a Gen X-er. No. Just no. There has never been a time in my life that transphobia was acceptable. Perhaps it was sadly normalized in certain times and places, but it has never been okay. If anything, it’s even more important to speak up in those times and places when and where bigotry is seen as “normal.” It’s even more important then to be an ally.
And my 80+ parents are not transphobic in the least. It’s so easy to understand the basics of what it means to be trans that there is not even the shadow of an excuse.
I really don’t think vapid and pointless arguments like those above should be allowed in a space that’s supposed to be a safe and validating community. I understand some of these people may be well-meaning non-LGBT+ people, but it’s exhausting having to address the gish gallop of absolute nonsensical attempts to make transphobia seem okay. It is NOT okay, and we shouldn’t pretend that it is.
I even saw some people arguing that excluding trans people isn’t transphobic. That’s how unhinged some of these people are.
So TERFs and other transphobes stfu challenge 2023.
EDIT:
Thank you to everyone who responded with understanding. I think it had to be said. At first I wasn’t sure it was my place since I’m not trans, but I know how exhausting it can be. They did the same thing to me back in the day. It’s a silencing tactic. “Gish gallop” is the term that comes to mind.
But I’ve had a few ugly trolls in the thread behaving just as described in my post. I will report each and every one of you 💛
I’d like to remind anyone who takes issue with this rant to send your hot takes directly to my attorney where they belong. Thank you for your cooperation.
I’d like to remind you that you don’t get to redefine words.
Having said that, I spent many hours having reasoned talks with *phobes and getting then to slowly see some light somewhere. Even if it’s a glimmer, I think that’s worth it. You don’t get to tell me that I should yell at those people.
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i don’t think this chain is going anywhere productive, so i’m going to pre-emptively nip it in the bud. i think the first two comments between you are sufficient and that past those two comments this is going to go nowhere.
Inaction against intolerance is a form of action, is it not? “Bee kind” is not just a call to not be mean, it’s a call to act in kindness.
I believe the poster is probably right in that it stirs more toward fostering acceptance rather than simply ignoring hate.
It’s not compelled speech, per se—Beehaw users need to have an active role in order to make it the kind of place people want to bee.
I wouldn’t take a broad appeal for decency as a personal attack against you.
I didn’t notice any attack against me. I was just commenting on that I don’t think that aggression against -lets call them- consevatives, neo-Nazi’s, right wingers, whatver, works or is wanted
I’ve been nice to them and trying to politely educate them for over 20 years now, since W was in office. I’ve convinced a grand total of 2, and in the meantime, 30 million worse ones have arisen.
Fuck them. I’m done assuming they only hate me because they’re uneducated. They hate me because they get off on hate, and all the education in the fucking world doesn’t matter to them. So I treat them like scum, and their arguments like jokes, because they are.
Don’t like it? Too bad. Cry more, salty.
The internet is expanding everyday. You and I are likely to stumble upon people from different regions and backgrounds, who some have no clue who liberals or conservatives are, but share great amount of that *phobia due to their upbringing and religion.
My guess is that the “fuck them” attitude is even more useless towards them. They’re not crying at all because they don’t even interact with people they despise.
holy shit are you me?
If you give up on the world then don’t cry when the world gives up on you and i you become more hostile to them, they will get more hostile to you.
You don’t want things to become better, you just want revenge for whatever slights they did you
personally i think “murdering or wanting to murder queer people for being queer” is more than a “slight” and is fine to answer with “revenge”. this sort of placation has never worked for any oppressed group in history—it’s certainly not about to work for queer people—and you should probably not be here if people calling that placation out for what it is makes you like this.
Yeah I don’t think that’s what happened and definitely didn’t read it that way in the post.
This is how we take the conversation back. Good on ya!
Thanks. It’s not least appreciated I guess, looking at other comments.