Queer and masc, in my 30s, content writer. Trying to learn the banjo (twang!). In love with the woods of New England. Lots of D&D and other tabletop.

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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 21st, 2023

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  • 95% of people definitely aren’t hetero though. Or anyway, they aren’t cisgender and straight and vanilla and mainstream in every other possible way related to sex and gender. We have no idea how many people are queer, but it’s a lot more than 5%, and we won’t know what the actual numbers are like until there have been several generations that are very queer accepting.







  • Fantastic reply. Also consider the dramatic and sustained rightward slide of the Overton window over the last 40 years.

    Within right-wing media spaces that window has slid in so far to the right that mentioning vaccines, public housing, or a living wage is seen as outrageous or absurd or communist, and outright white supremacy is a major plank of prominent politicians’ platforms.

    So when someone says “there’s no room to talk about right-wing ideas,” they’re saying “why don’t you all accept an equivalence between radical Christian nationalism and moderate democratic conservatism as they two poles of political debate?”

    And the reality is that “right-wing ideas” in America are mostly fabricated or deeply bigoted. And outside of conservative media environments, they are accurately perceived that way and so are not talked about much.


  • I think everything you’re saying makes lots of sense. The only thing I want to add is that the discomfort and confusion you’re dealing with around this isn’t because of you. You live in an intolerant, homophobic society and you’re trying to figure out how to treat people well who are marginalized and excluded by that society.

    It’s genuinely difficult, because you have to choose which social norms to ignore, which to try to change, and which to follow. Doing that with grace is very hard. And putting in effort is the single most important thing.


  • Yeah dude! It can help to watch queer things - maybe try Unhhhh, Ru Paul, or Queer Eye? Just to sort of…help you feel familiar with what you’re seeing and hearing. Being aware of queer ideas and spaces and vocab is probably the #1 thing here.

    Otherwise, if something like rainbow pins and stickers are too overt, and ditto earrings or nail polish, you could consider just sort of…looking fashionable. Hair and skin, nice shoes, well fitted clothes, color and flair, all of that (at least to me) signifies “I didn’t vote for trump and I know what a French tuck is.” Obviously not a failsafe metric, but it can help.

    It doesn’t take a lot to show you’re safe, most of the time. Another good option is, if the chance comes up w/o busting into other people’s spaces, put yourself out there a little or offer a complement or a supportive remark.

    Okay last thing. To really be safe, and be an ally, you may need to confront members of your family who pose a threat/risk to queer people in public. Telling off your homophobic aunt is a GOOD way to show who you are.




  • Microsoft Word is a bad piece of software that is poorly designed, laughably unoptimized, and mostly dysfunctional. It’s like a passenger car with seven wheels arranged in an irregular septagon, a 1 gallon gas tank, and a kitchen stool for a seat.

    Also hype clothes are a tremendous waste and reveal the hollowness and meaninglessness that underlies most fashion