I should have stayed home with my cats and ordered take-out. The gays are just as transphobic as anyone else. Fuck people. I opened myself up and I’m mad I did.
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Middle aged white bi guy here, I just cut off several family members within the last week for being transphobic. Fuck the person that said that to you and fuck transphobes. They are a cancer and they’re everywhere, unfortunately. You deserve better and I hope you find people that support you for who you are.
I’ve come to assume that legit everyone, regardless of their political or community affiliation (YES, INCLUDING TRANS PEOPLE/SPACES), is transphobic until proven otherwise. I trust no one these days. But I’m really sorry you experienced this ignorance & harm in a space that SHOULD be accepting… It gets so fucking tiring. You’re a beautiful woman and NO ONE can take that truth from you.
That’s kinda why I say we’re the most discriminated group of people in the world. There’s nowhere to be safe, not even in our own communities
The more marginalized your intersectional community, the more discrimination you face from that community.
For example, jf you think it’s tough being a woman in the united states, try being a black woman. And if you think that’s hard, try being a black trans woman.
At some point, you just lose community entirely, as that becomes a privilege for those less marginalized.
Bland as fuck CIS white guy here. They deserve as many throat punches (though maybe just a death stare is safer) as possible.
Also cats are better than most people.
I’m so sorry that we as a people seem to be hell bent on both halting progress and undoing what little we’ve had in the modern era. You deserve better.
You may not have had the default feminine childhood that AFAB people like myself had, but I have seen trans women work so much harder and bust their asses just to be called “Ma’am” so in my eyes? You’re absolutely a real woman. You just played the game on hard mode while the rest of us were on easy and normal mode.
You’re as real a woman as any of us.
You worked for it rather than inheriting it.
I’m sorry this happened to you. Some people are just not nice people. You certainly are a woman and you deserve better.
It’s amazing how many people will pay themselves on the back for being a good person, and then just spout nasty rubbish like that in the next breath.
I’d be happy to be your friend.
I’m so sorry this happened to you!
Allow this gay to say: you are 100% a real woman, full stop.
And anyone who thinks otherwise is a transphobic asshole, not a queer ally or interested in queer liberation, and you are better off without them in your life.
I second this gay!
You’re a real woman and anyone who questions it is loosing touch with their humanity.
I’m sorry that happened to you. Something I wish people would bear in mind when it comes to LGBT people… we’re just people. So by that metric, some of us are lovely, some of us are depressed, some of us are angry, and some of us are shitty.
We’re not shiny magical rainbow people, just humans with the same flaws as everyone else. You’d think someone who had suffered hatred & persecution would not inflict it onto someone else… but sadly, some people are just shitty. You had an interaction with an exceedingly shitty human being who happened to also be LGBT. Please try not to let it influence you, or prevent you from meeting awesome people at future events!
I stay far away from lgbt spaces irl for this exact reason. I’ve been treated worse by lesbian communities than anywhere else.
I’m a cis lesbian and I’ll punch anyone who’s transphobic right in the face.
I also think it’s rather sad that we’re generalising in an LGBTQ+ space, of all places. Please remember that they want us to be divided because we’re stronger when we stick together.
That’s what you should say to the transphobe.
“Not all straight…” “Not all men…” “Not all cis…”
When does this become an issue with generalization and stop being an issue of covering up/defending shitty, toxic behavior within a community?
We should be allowed to vent here in an LGBTQ+ space without being tone-policed. I’m sorry (believe me, I’m sorry) that transphobia is a problem in the cis queer community.
Ayyy that person can go eat hog turds alone in a field
You’re worthy of respect and as real a woman as anyone alive. Sorry for the shitty Pride experience. There are Pride events that aren’t like that, I swear. My local Boston Block Party is mostly weed stores and a killer drag show. Wishing you happier Prides and reciprocated trust in the near future.
It is always frustrating trying to determine if these people actually believe what they’re saying, or if they’re grasping for anything they can say to be hurtful. Do they actually believe you are a woman in their heart, and just contradict their own beliefs in the name of hurting the bad person with the bad opinion? Or do they think you are all faking but decide to humor the pleasant people about their gender and mask-off around anyone they dislike? Either way, it creates an environment of “do you really accept my identity as valid, or is it conditional upon whether you like me?” Not the kind of thing that should be happening at all, let alone at Pride.
As a GNC person myself, the worst bigotry I have experienced personally has come from cis gay people. What was said to you was not acceptable. Your identity is not contingent upon the side that you take in an argument. This woman knowingly chose violence, and that stain is on her. It means little, but this internet stranger sees you. We have to care for one another, especially when we disagree.
Wonder if it’s a case of people being discriminated against, so instead of standing in solidarity with their fellow victims they’re looking for a taste of power, of being on the other side.
It does seem depressingly common for formerly disadvantaged people to abandon empathy once they gain a modicum of power. See: the divide and conquer strategy that has been effectively wielded against the working class for all of history.
I wonder if this is just a human trait. “Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely” is a quote for a reason.
I certainly see elements of that in the neurodiverse spaces as well.
This is why I have a nasty cycle of
- enter neurodivergent space
- see ”NT bad”
- leave neurodivergent space
Yall, just like we’re not a monolith, NTs aren’t either!? I don’t like identity-based generalizations. I also understand the need for minorities to vent, and sometimes it involves harsh language and generalizations they don’t actually believe. And sometimes it’s hard for me to see the line between “this is a vent and I, and the community at large, don’t actually believe that all NTs are inferior people, I just had a frustrating experience with many and want to vent without being tone policed” and “it’s just venting, back off tone policer, nevermind that I actually do truly believe that the filthy NTs are inferior.”
However, either one will drive me, a minority who the space is intended for, out. Wonder if there will ever be a spot for minorities that is both modded to be free of bigotry, but also doesn’t allow the venting.
EDIT: not criticizing the Beehaw neurodivergence community, haven’t looked there yet
oh gosh the reddit ADHD community was so bad with this i had to unsubscribe just to get away from the toxicity
I tend to speak up when I see it and my admonishments are usually upvoted. So there is that. But yes it’s exhausting.
