Firstly: I’m reasonably sure these women are just kvetching. I often say ‘I’d rather drink piss’ to express that I don’t like something. Obviously I’m not actually going to drink piss.
Secondly…I do agree it’s a bit much to compare men to a deadly 1200 pound predator. I would be a bit fed up of hearing that too if I were a guy.
Thirdly…that said…I understand WHY women say that even if it’s a bit ridiculous. I’ve had a male friend completely turn on a dime and send me rape threats while drunk. I pleaded and tried to reason with him for about 20 minutes before I completely snapped and threatened to do things to him with a hunting knife that I won’t detail because there’s no need to make people vomit. Only then did he back off and switch to making excuses and blaming his autism. It was terrifying because there was no reasoning with him. He LIKED that I was frightened and freaked out. It gave him a pleasurable power rush. The only reason he backed off was the threat of said hunting knife.
A bear isn’t malicious. A bear just wants to eat. A bear can be redirected or avoided. You can do things such as wear a bell or carry mace or put up an electric fence around a tent. A man isn’t necessarily malicious but IF he is…those precautions won’t do jack poopsies because he consciously knows the woman doesn’t want it and LIKES the act of stomping on boundaries.
I’m reasonably sure these women are just kvetching. I often say ‘I’d rather drink piss’ to express that I don’t like something. Obviously I’m not actually going to drink piss.
Nope. 100% serious. A guy who knows we are alone is way more dangerous than a bear. I’d rather drink piss AND be stuck in the woods with a bear than with a man. It’s not even remotely a question in my mind. Bear won’t hunt me down for pleasure, if we run in to each other than I might have a problem. But even then, most people survive bear attacks, but most women are killed by men.
A bear isn’t malicious.
True, and I have 0 trust that a random man away from others wouldn’t be.
I love how women are allowed misandrist views like this with just no repercussions from society. The irony here is just hilarious.
You should like a “all lives matter” dork. Like, come the hell on and actually talk about the world we live instead of removing all context of the patriarchy, history and pretending your little vacuum void thought experiment is a fair compassion.
But whatever, any discussion of the realities of living as a women make you bad so you drag out your lil “misandrist” claim like it’s a legitimate concern. I’m sorry women complaining about our lack of safety makes you feel bad, but like, suck it up and fucking think about WHY SO MANY WOMEN are saying it.
The way you feel about men is the way I feel about women since I’ve been sexually assaulted by several, but I’ll bet you’re gonna call me a piece of shit for that or say the assaults were justified because I’m a man.
If we’re gonna take wide swings about other people’s characters, be aware that you’re not immune.
I’ll bet you’re gonna call me a piece of shit for that or say the assaults were justified because I’m a man.
What? No. Why would anyone ever do that? Sexual assault is always wrong regardless of gender. And I am truly sorry that happened to you. But it’s beyond disingenuous to pretend these are happening in equal amounts.. There is a reason so many women feel unsafe, because statiscally this is far more likely to happen to us. Just like a white person can be a victim of bigotry, but saying “all lives matter” misses the reality of racism for PoC.
But like, I’ve been sexually assaulted by men and women during my life too. Why are you bringing this up? I don’t see what either of our experiences have to do with your claim that women are just being sexist? So complaining the women talking about their statistical reality as “misandrst” is just a knee jerk reaction that misses the point.
Imma be fair here and point out that female on male rape is massively under-reported and under-documented because of a wording issue. Rape in many countries is defined only as penetration of the victim. A woman forcing a man to penetrate her therefore doesn’t count no matter how obviously it was done against his will.
Nah, that’s working as intended according to the “bear>man” crowd.
Why would anyone ever do that?
I dunno, ask my ex, the most outspoken feminist I ever met. Her exact response to me telling her that I’d been assaulted was “oh boo hoo.” Shortly thereafter, she tried to spermjack me.
So then you recognize that my fear is unfounded, whether I can convince myself of that fact or not? Perhaps even pathologically so?
Also, ask any man you’re close to (if you’re able to get over the crushing fear of being near someone with a penis) how many times he’s been assaulted. Then ask him why he’s never reported it. If he had, he was either going to get called a pussy (mostly by women, in my experience) or he’d get laughed out of whatever police station he reported it at. Oh, or because he’s afraid she’ll flip the script and claim that he raped her, which people will actually listen to. Whoops, there goes several years of his life, all for the low, low price of getting sexually assaulted.
If you want to talk about unspoken realities, the male sexual assault rates are a particularly grim one.
(if you’re able to get over the crushing fear of being near someone with a penis)
God, the irony here is too much, I don’t like to bring this up but I just can’t contain myself.
Dude. I have a penis. I am a trans woman. Dig around in my post history if you want proof. But I have lived about 2 decades of my life presenting as a man, and then the last decade as a woman. I have been sexually assaulted multiple times in my life before and after transition.
If you want to talk about unspoken realities, the male sexual assault rates are a particularly grim one.
So I literally know EXACTLY what you are talking about. But what I’m trying to tell you, is that the amount of sexual harassment I have faced as a woman is exponentially more than the harassment I faced while looking like a boy/man. It’s not even close. When I presented “male”, I would often walk outside at night. Hell I used to work outside at anight job. That’s simply not something I can do as a girl, you know why? Because I have been literally chased multiple times by men “who just want to talk”, I’m lucky I was able to reach gated doors. I’ve had to pull out pepper spray men who have followed me to my car when I wouldn’t talk to them, I’ve had men follow me in to a movie theater, sit down next to me, and place their hand on my knee while smirking. These things that literally never happened before transition. The average man, is WILDLY more prone to harassing than the average woman.
I know better than most what each gender faces in terms of harassment. So if you wanna talk about our personal experience, let me tell you what the overwhelmingly common factor is? That men are straight out more violent, yes a few overly handsy women made me leave some parties when they wouldn’t take no for an answer, but that’s not really a compassion to the violence that men display when they have chased me in the last few years.
Calling women, trans and cis alike, misandrist for feeling unsafe around men, is absolute BS.
Calling women, trans and cis alike, misandrist for feeling unsafe around men, is absolute BS.
Then you need to respect my fear of women equally, since I’ve been drugged multiple times, assaulted while sleeping, shamelessly groped in public in broad daylight, and so on. I have no interest in continuing your sad little game of one-downsmanship, but if my mindset is misogynist, then your similarly-derived, similarly-worded mindset is misandrist.
It’s almost impressive how you’re able to write out, so presumably understand, at least a couple of very good reasons why we would choose bear over man, while also completely missing the point and choosing to first frame the debate as “tiresome”, “kvetching” (whining, to those unfamiliar), ridiculous, and worst - making men feel fed up, entirely prioritising and derailing the debate to how men feel (which is completely disconnected from reality, where their feelings, as well as rights and freedoms, are prioritised 99% of the time), when it’s them being all of those negative things (tiresome, whiny, ridiculous, making women fed up) and also threatening, abusive, and violent in the first place that makes us want so desperately to avoid them.
Men are not the fucking victim here, I’m sick and fucking tired of them being frame as such.
If us picking bears over them hurts their fee-fees so much, perhaps they should consider why, and try to change, instead of repeating the exact behaviours that make us make that choice, and then blame us for being “tiresome” and insensitive.
I’m reasonably sure these women are just kvetching.
I love how sooooo many men are just absolutely certain that sooooo many women are just completely wrong about their own feelings and instincts.
You’re wrong. You are absolutely, completely, fucking wrong. We’re not “just kvetching”, we’re serious. I would absolutely 100% prefer to be alone in the woods with a bear, than to be alone in the woods with a man.
This is one of the things that I find most infuriating about this whole hypothetical, the number of men who are absolutely convinced that a woman’s very logical threat calculations is somehow “less”. We’re “just kvetching”, we’re “not thinking rationally”, we’re “reacting emotionally”, we’re “paranoid”, etc etc etc.
STOP NEGATING WOMEN’S LIVED EXPERIENCES JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU KNOW BETTER. YOU DON’T.
Fucking patronizing assholes.
Hadn’t heard of this until just now…
I’m a cis het white guy.
I think 99% of the time a random guy is safe, there’s a lot of guys out there, maybe I have tinted glasses, I’ll say 75% of the time a random guy is safe, maybe I’m sheltered in my California comfort, 50% of the time a random guy is safe.
I wouldn’t think myself safe in more than 2% of encounters with a bear, no sarcasm. Take a walk in a park in Alaska, it doesn’t matter how many people are around you’re always questioning every noise.
And for that comparison I understand survivors concerns with random people, but bears are not a comparable thing in Bear country (much like I haven’t been in vulnerable women’s shoes) (maybe sun bears or small black bears… Not the big ones…)
I think 99% of the time a random guy is safe, there’s a lot of guys out there, maybe I have tinted glasses
Yes. YES YOU DO. 99% of men are not a threat TO YOU. But how could you know any different?
To women though? It’s way way WAY higher. For me it’s not even a question between bear or man. Men are the reason I am scared to walk by myself at night.
Like, just go by the numbers if you are skeptical
https://animal-world.com/bear-attack-statistics/
You need to step out of your own perspective and really understand the world that women are forced to live in before answering this question. I can respect that you think you might be biased, but I can not stress enough how “biased” is an understatement.
99% of men are not a threat TO YOU
Right?? Even I as a small gay man know that cis straight men are not to be trusted. They don’t have to threaten me with sexual violence, but I know for a fact that when they mutter shit about me, they have the very real possibility of trying it.
Some of us are, in a very palpable sense, walking in the woods in Bear Country constantly. But he doesn’t see it because it’s not him in our shoes. And so the same defensive rhetoric comes out on Lemmy and Reddit and all the other bullshit social media every single time. Because it’s not them living next door to a delinquent who has publicly yelled obscenities and threats at them directly for existing.
E: Downvote all you want if you feel identified. It’s not gonna change what we live through.
I really just wanted to get the point across that…there are simple things you can do to deter bears.
Whereas IF a man has malicious intent…there is jack shit that an electric fence or bear mace or a bell is going to do.