• Rickety Thudds@lemmy.caEnglish
    2022·
    9 months ago

    Guaranteed that manager has had a toddler. You either get used to handling unreasonable anger or develop anger issues of your own

      • Kedly@lemm.eeEnglish
        10·
        9 months ago

        Arousal cycles (The mental health kind, not the sex kind) are absolutely useful info to use, not just on low functioning individuals, but on everyone to a degree (ONCE AGAIN, NOT THE SEX KIND)

    • Potatos_are_not_friends@lemmy.worldEnglish
      61·
      9 months ago

      That reminds me. I ordered Uber eats and the driver, a black girl, drives up and it’s hysterical. She’s telling me how her last delivery was a racist PoS, threatened cops on her, and she’s so sorry about my order but angry about the situation. I’m just standing there hungry for my food.

      We sat on the porch and I let her calm down, then I dont know why, but I asked if she wanted a hug. She was taken back but she agreed, and it was a super weird hug. But she felt better I think. I dunno.

    • fatboy93@lemm.eeEnglish
      10·
      9 months ago

      Resonate this super hard, and I’m in the second camp.

      Everything seems to set me off at home. I just want to rage against everyone and it’s fucking shameful.

      • Seleni@lemmy.worldEnglish
        17·
        9 months ago

        Sometimes it’s just as simple as changing your perspective a little.

        My uncle has pretty bad anger issues. Almost every workday he’d have to drive downtown, usually when the traffic was the worst (and he hated downtown driving to begin with), and he’d get super stressed and rage about it. He’d try to make it so he didn’t have to go downtown, but almost without fail something would come up and he’d be stuck doing it.

        He told me he realized it wasn’t healthy, so he tried fixing it by changing it from thinking of it as ‘goddamnit I have to drive downtown again after I tried so hard not to!’ to ‘oh well, have to do my daily downtown trip’. And then when he occasionally didn’t have to go downtown, it became sort of an extra bonus treat.

        He was amazed at how much anger he lost, just with a small change in thinking.

      • Rickety Thudds@lemmy.caEnglish
        9·
        9 months ago

        The best way I’ve found to deal with deep dark rage without collapsing into a broken ghost is to focus on gratitude. Thinking on your blessings can be the antidote to the poison of anger.

      • iarigby@lemmy.worldEnglish
        3·
        9 months ago

        I know fixing that is quite complex but my friend started kick boxing and it really helped her. Sometimes it helps to simply let the negative energy out so it doesn’t eat you alive and then you can see more solutions with a clear head

  • Zachariah@lemmy.worldEnglish
    114·
    9 months ago

    WAAAAY better than the fantasies I see posted of revenge for someone’s behavior. It’s possible to be the bigger person and still not tolerate bad behavior.

  • feedum_sneedson@lemmy.worldEnglish
    2213·
    9 months ago

    Actually that’s sexual assault. You can still ask if she’s okay without threatening her with sexual assault.

    • ArachnidMania@lemm.eeEnglish
      79·
      9 months ago

      What part of !asking! if they want a hug makes it sexual assault? What part of a hug is sexual???

      • chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
        20·
        9 months ago

        This type of person probably thinks two guys hugging is gay. I’m straight but I’ll take a hug from anyone. I love hugs.

        • quaddo@lemmy.worldEnglish
          2·
          9 months ago

          Distance might be a factor. So could I just send you a virtual mana wave? Chur =)

    • dutchkimble@lemy.lolEnglish
      40·
      9 months ago

      Even if you count a hug as sexual assault, that wasn’t a threat like I’ll hug you if you don’t shut the fuck up, it was just an offer of a hug.

    • TexMexBazooka@lemm.eeEnglish
      291·
      9 months ago

      Excuse me, this comment it literally rape because it uses the word sexual and I wasn’t prepared. Please escort yourself to your local PD.

      • Got_Bent@lemmy.worldEnglish
        182·
        9 months ago

        You laugh, but look up no touching policies in schools. Some of them prohibit students from hugging each other. We’re going to end up with a bunch of traumatized adults who received no human contact as children.

        On that, I’m one of those oh so delightful high functioning spectrum types who can’t fucking stand anybody touching me. In spite of this, I also recognize the base human need for touch for people who aren’t me. These policies are going to hurt people.

        • psivchaz@reddthat.comEnglish
          91·
          9 months ago

          I’m not a sociologist, and probably there is someone who knows what they’re talking about who has done actual research and maybe written an actual paper I just haven’t seen. But I have this theory that humans need some level of discomfort.

          In part, I think the brain gets stronger when challenged. It needs practical challenges, not just artificial challenges. And in part, I think that suffering is relative. Those people who freak out about getting the wrong color iPhone? It’s literally the worst thing that’s ever happened to them, and they have no coping skills.

          All that to say… We’re definitely fucking ourselves up by trying to make things TOO safe and comfortable.

          • FractalsInfinite@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
            6·
            9 months ago

            Personally, I think everyone should go through at least one crisis when they are adolescents so they know how to handle things, or at least what traits they need to get under control. If you never experience something going wrong, when you can still bounce back, you will never survive “rolling snake eyes” and getting hit by a bad event.

            Then again, some training on coping skills and then created scenarios where people must then use said coping skills (e.g. get left in the wild for 2 days with some food, a tent and the ability to chicken out on the condition they retake the course) would probably work as well.

            • psivchaz@reddthat.comEnglish
              3·
              9 months ago

              This is a thing in some scouting programs, and I hear it’s a pretty common thing in the Netherlands to drop teens in the woods and let them figure their way back.

    • S_204@lemm.eeEnglish
      2613·
      9 months ago

      I love this site LoL. The people here are all the dumbest parts of Reddit, Tumblr and twitter rolled into one glowing repository of stupidity.

      • Echo Dot@feddit.ukEnglish
        142·
        9 months ago

        Certainly on the bigger instances. If you go off the beaten track a little bit you tend to fund the old small subreddit experience. You know all the ones that are about cats in trees or wood working.

        • S_204@lemm.eeEnglish
          19·
          9 months ago

          Those niche subs aren’t worthwhile here yet. They’re just filled with losers who insist they’re 100% right about everything all the time or they’re losers with nothing better to do than sit online and troll.