cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/2884893
I always put everything off for later so i end up with my house uncleaned, books unread, meals uncooked, programming not learned etc. Could anyone offer advice on how to stop procrastinating?
I’ve been working on this lately, what I find helpful is reminding myself that the chore doesn’t have to be done perfectly, and that some progress is better than no progress. I struggle with perfectionism and will put off tasks indefinitely because of fear that if I start wrong or don’t finish it immediately it won’t be perfect. My therapist helped me to realize that perfect is the enemy of done, and that it is ok if something isn’t done perfectly.
This is my fix. Do a little and do something, don’t worry about perfect.
Dopamine is the get-shit-done neurotransmitter. Our brain’s dopamine system is broken. Normies complete a task and get a satisfying feeling of accomplishment, that’s dopamine. You complete a task and get nothing. When you did those tasks before, and got no dopamine, your brain labeled them as useless. Your brain is literally telling you that doing nothing is better than the tasks you need to do. Better to be lazy and save calories for important tasks. You’re not procrastinating, that’s something normies do, you won’t ever do those things. You’re not putting off an unpleasant task, you’re conditioned not to do them.
You need to condition your brain to expect a reward when you complete a task. Figure out what things do give you dopamine, and reward your brain with them.
Clean the house - play video games for 15 minutes.
Do laundry - 15 minutes on social media.
I’ve had varying results combining activities, like cleaning while listening to my favorite podcasts.
It also helps me to spend a moment being mindful of the results of the task. “Look how much better this room is now that it’s clean. I’m proud of myself for accomplishing this task.” It sounds dumb but it works.
I have a really good response but I’m going to write it later.
Do you (OP) have an ADHD diagnosis? Honestly for me the only thing that truly helped me work on things when there wasn’t immediate external pressure/payoff or it being super interesting was medication.
And believe me, I tried a lot of things.
Oh no. I am on meds and I still procrastinate until the last moment. Which often means I’m late because of our beloved friend, time blindness. I’m beginning to think my meds aren’t as dialed in as I thought.
Honestly that’s where I would start. It takes some “no I’m in the driver’s seat, I decide what I’m working on, I decide when I’m done” reminders so I’m working on the right things, but I don’t really procrastinate. Unless it’s something I really don’t want to work on, but that’s kind of a different problem.
If they’ve worked well in the past beyond the initial break in period I know some people do well with short breaks. Five days on, weekends off, though I would want to be functional outside of work days.
I have a similar issue, where some things get put off because I get obsessed with something else.
If you ever feel the obsession urge, may as well just indulge it right then. That’s how I clean my room.
That’s been my recent revelation on cleaning. It might be because I’m avoiding other things or because I wiped up a spill and I might as well keep wiping while I have the supplies out, but whatever the accidental motivation–I’m seizing the opportunity or it’ll never happen.
Do a little at a time. For example, clean off one countertop. Don’t even look at the others - just do the one in front of you. Before long it’ll be done, and you might have the energy to take on just one more.
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Adulthood is when you realize nobody else is going to do that for you.
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Realize you’re not just procrastinating about the things you have to do, but also the things you want to do. Be ready to start blocking sites like Lemmy and Twitter and Reddit on your phone because those things are neither work nor fun just time-filling.
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Talk to your doctor. Get the the drugs. They work, and not only do they work they will make you realize just how bad it actually was.
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‘Do it now or do it never’ has become my motto. Essentially, try to capitalise on the dopamine rush that comes with tricking yourself into thinking that it’s urgent and your deadline is right now.
Also gamifying tasks and setting up rules where I can’t do x until I’ve done y. Usually x will be a reward based activity. I find just reinforcing productive behaviour with a reward is very useful, even if it feels indulgent.
Depression reverse UNO: Nothing feels like a reward.
(I get what you’re saying, I just had to be cheeky.)
There was a web comic where the guy made sure he had enough “adult points” to rest and play. It’s a good way to think of it so you do the tasks first then allow yourself to rest and recover.
And yea the now or never has worked really well with my wife. If you think of it, do it.
Break the task down into bitesize chunks and then just do the first one. The dopamine hit from completing the first part will help your executive dysfunction.
Example (do the dishes):
- Move dishes out of the sink
- Fill sink with hot water and soap
- Wash one plate
- Wash one set of cutlery that goes with the plate
Once you do 1, you’d be surprised at how easy 2 is, then 3, then 4 and then the rest of them.
It’s a skill, so it’s not something you can just click your fingers and do, so work on it, and develop the skill over time. It’s tough, but doable
Sometimes, it requires medication.
The way I solve it is by doing everything as soon as I need to do it (or at least notice it needs to be done). Everytime I start to think “oh it’s small, I’ll do it later” I remind myself that everytime I do that, the task never gets done. So then I just do it real quick and not have to worry about it.
Today I passed a phone call I was procrastinating for a while… They’re closed for 2 weeks.
It was for mental health reasons… Oh well
I am not sure if you are a fan of audiobooks but I really enjoyed listening Atomic Habits by James Clear and Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg.
BJ Fogg says all human behavior can be broken down into 3 parts M.A.P. = Motivation Ability Prompt.
Brief summary is never trust motivation it ebbs and flows. The easiest thing to change is the prompt. If you are reminded/prompted to do something then it’s much more likely you will actually do it then just trusting yourself to remember. Lol.
Always forget tk brush your teeth before bed? Put your toothbrush in your pillow. That kind of thing.
Then the last thing is ability. And this is where the whole concept of tiny habits really takes off. Don’t set unrealistic expectations. Keep it small. Don’t say I’m going to clean all the dishes. Just say I’m going to put one dish in the dishwasher. Then when you do that celebrate yourself accomplishing what you said you were going to do.
Accumulate small wins, build confidence overtime, and don’t beat yourself up if you don’t do it. Just start fresh and try again.
I’m not even close to there yet with having my shit together but I can see how it actually could help my ADHD brain. It feels like a lot of self help books take for granted how different people’s minds work. This feels like it still fits. At least for me.
Plus I will put the audiobook back on if I am feeling unmotivated and it helps motivate me to do the things. Like hell I can do this and off I go. 😁
Hope this helps
Mostly, a bunch of alarms for the daily things, like get ready for work or lunch time, and listing what I have to do for the day in a piece of paper. The last one helps with tasks like folding laundry, calling some company, setting up some kind of appointment. If I just let it loose I’ll avoid/forget doing it for months.
Find somethingore urgent to do, so you get procrastinated into doing the other thing you were initially procrastinating.
