I’m not saying lgbtq people should be locked away in a cave somewhere. I’m saying the current messaging I’m seeing is that if you want to be accepted, if you want to be a good person, identifying as something under the lgbtqia+ umbrella is the way to do it. It’s not the knowledge that there are other people out there, it’s the idea that this is the superior group to be apart of and everyone should want to be apart of it, and those who aren’t are less than. That’s the idea that I think goes too far and can push kids to make choice they wouldn’t otherwise make.
Suicide for any reason is tragic, and I suspect there are other things going on as well which could use professional help. It’s good things like the Trevor project exist to help with that. I know someone who works with them.
Speaking for myself. From around the age of 7 until sometime in college, then on and off after that for a bit, I thought there was some mistake and I should be a girl. I didn’t know that was a thing at the time, so I just tried to ignore it and told no one, though I thought about it a lot. I think it played a big role in my lack of confidence. Now that I’m all the way grown up, I’m pretty glad I wasn’t being raised in the current environment with it being pushed heavily and parents encouraging it. I could easily have seen myself going down that road and I don’t know what that process of realizing I was mistaken would have been like. Not a fun process I image. I still struggle with depression and anxiety, and if I was younger and seeing what is being shown today, I can see where I might think finding my identity is the answer… or at least something to try; I’ve tried everything else. So when I think about myself, I could see where the suicide rate would be higher. I’m depressed, I hear this can help, I try it, I’m still miserable… now what? It’s like the musicians that gets everything they thought they wanted, but still feels empty. I’m not saying that’s everything, just being honest about where I’m coming from.
It sucks she’s dealing with that. She doesn’t need to publicly self-describe as anything though, if that’s what she’s doing. I never understood why someone’s sexual preferences needed to be public information, and it seems commonplace these days. I don’t think I’ve ever explicitly told anyone my preferences, but I’ve had a lot of people make assumptions and talk behind my back about it. I still don’t tell them, as that doesn’t seem like the type of person to tell things to.
Getting to know someone as a friend and if it seems like there might be more there, and some trust, share and see how things go? Broadcasting it doesn’t sound like it’s going well, as it sounds like that information is getting to a lot of people who shouldn’t be trusted with any personal information, because they’ll use it against her. Although it sounds like the genie is already out of the bottle, continuing to make a a focal point vs letting it just be some known thing people aren’t thinking about so much, could still go along way.
13 year olds are generally awful when it comes to making fun of someone’s vulnerability. I think that’s where a lot of defense mechanisms are born. I used invisibility, for better or worse. Hopefully whatever she finds is a healthy way to process it and deal with it.
You might be right, and all I was saying in my first post is that time will tell. It’s hard to know in the moment what will be good or bad. We can only really know that with hindsight, which is true for pretty much everything in life. It’s likely that it will fall into the gray, where some are happy and others are not. If that is a net good or not will be a debate that likely isn’t worth having as it will only matter to each individual. I guess I’d just hope to limit collateral damage.
My first comment was met with so much hate that was talking with a friend about quitting the internet all together, as it’s seeming turned into a place I don’t like being, but I’ve struggled to find hobbies and can’t really spend time outside, which goes back to the depression… and so it goes.
Thank you for not using my opening up against me. The empathy helps a little, I wish you luck as well.
I’m not saying lgbtq people should be locked away in a cave somewhere. I’m saying the current messaging I’m seeing is that if you want to be accepted, if you want to be a good person, identifying as something under the lgbtqia+ umbrella is the way to do it. It’s not the knowledge that there are other people out there, it’s the idea that this is the superior group to be apart of and everyone should want to be apart of it, and those who aren’t are less than. That’s the idea that I think goes too far and can push kids to make choice they wouldn’t otherwise make.
Suicide for any reason is tragic, and I suspect there are other things going on as well which could use professional help. It’s good things like the Trevor project exist to help with that. I know someone who works with them.
Speaking for myself. From around the age of 7 until sometime in college, then on and off after that for a bit, I thought there was some mistake and I should be a girl. I didn’t know that was a thing at the time, so I just tried to ignore it and told no one, though I thought about it a lot. I think it played a big role in my lack of confidence. Now that I’m all the way grown up, I’m pretty glad I wasn’t being raised in the current environment with it being pushed heavily and parents encouraging it. I could easily have seen myself going down that road and I don’t know what that process of realizing I was mistaken would have been like. Not a fun process I image. I still struggle with depression and anxiety, and if I was younger and seeing what is being shown today, I can see where I might think finding my identity is the answer… or at least something to try; I’ve tried everything else. So when I think about myself, I could see where the suicide rate would be higher. I’m depressed, I hear this can help, I try it, I’m still miserable… now what? It’s like the musicians that gets everything they thought they wanted, but still feels empty. I’m not saying that’s everything, just being honest about where I’m coming from.
My daughter is 13 and is a self-described omnisexual, but mostly interested in girls.
So she gets constantly bullied.
That seems to go against your claim.
It sucks she’s dealing with that. She doesn’t need to publicly self-describe as anything though, if that’s what she’s doing. I never understood why someone’s sexual preferences needed to be public information, and it seems commonplace these days. I don’t think I’ve ever explicitly told anyone my preferences, but I’ve had a lot of people make assumptions and talk behind my back about it. I still don’t tell them, as that doesn’t seem like the type of person to tell things to.
How exactly do you think she’s going to find a girlfriend if no one knows she wants a girlfriend?
Getting to know someone as a friend and if it seems like there might be more there, and some trust, share and see how things go? Broadcasting it doesn’t sound like it’s going well, as it sounds like that information is getting to a lot of people who shouldn’t be trusted with any personal information, because they’ll use it against her. Although it sounds like the genie is already out of the bottle, continuing to make a a focal point vs letting it just be some known thing people aren’t thinking about so much, could still go along way.
13 year olds are generally awful when it comes to making fun of someone’s vulnerability. I think that’s where a lot of defense mechanisms are born. I used invisibility, for better or worse. Hopefully whatever she finds is a healthy way to process it and deal with it.
I thought you said kids had to be LGBT in order to be accepted. What you’re saying now sounds like the opposite.
I guess maybe everyone is fucked no matter what they do… great world we live in…
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You might be right, and all I was saying in my first post is that time will tell. It’s hard to know in the moment what will be good or bad. We can only really know that with hindsight, which is true for pretty much everything in life. It’s likely that it will fall into the gray, where some are happy and others are not. If that is a net good or not will be a debate that likely isn’t worth having as it will only matter to each individual. I guess I’d just hope to limit collateral damage.
My first comment was met with so much hate that was talking with a friend about quitting the internet all together, as it’s seeming turned into a place I don’t like being, but I’ve struggled to find hobbies and can’t really spend time outside, which goes back to the depression… and so it goes.
Thank you for not using my opening up against me. The empathy helps a little, I wish you luck as well.