Research says involuntary celibate men make "fundamental errors" about what women want in a partner.

Research says involuntary celibate men make “fundamental errors” about what women want in a partner.

  • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
    403·
    9 months ago

    I can see that. These guys don’t know how to date/flirt etc they didn’t have the same milestones others kids did. They should have learned when everyone in their cohort was learning. Imagine if you didn’t learn the fundamentals of any subject but had to keep going to harder and harder levels. End up with the dating mind of a 13 year old trying to deal with 23 year olds. Of course you need experience to get experience like a fucking zen riddle so they fall even further behind. Partners don’t want to deal with the awkward insanity of a boy in a man’s body.

    • Dashi@lemmy.world
      252·
      9 months ago

      To be honest, dating 20+ is a shit show. The things i learned about dating in my teens didn’t help me dating in my 30’s. Sure they have issues dating but we all do. It’s the willingness to learn, adapt, and care for someone else that i don’t see in incels and that isn’t learned from dating in your teens. They seem to blame outside forces for their issues and not seek to improve themselves

      • endhits@lemmy.world
        71·
        9 months ago

        You can only blame yourself so much before it causes so much emotional anguish that you turn your frustration outwards.

      • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
        5·
        9 months ago

        Well for me it made a big difference. I don’t think me and my wife would have stayed together had it not been for other woman I had dated prior. Learned how to have an argument, how to show random acts of kindness, gotten the nerve up to tell them when they are hurting you unintentionally, etc. This stuff didn’t come naturally to me.

        • Dashi@lemmy.world
          2·
          9 months ago

          100%! I am not saying learning these things doesn’t help. But blaming lack of dating in their teens for an incel becoming who they are is not a valid justification in my opinion.

    • mojofrododojo@lemmy.worldEnglish
      154·
      9 months ago

      Partners don’t want to deal with the awkward insanity of a boy in a man’s body.

      nor should they be required to; the enormous amount of work we put on women to make relationships work is already crushing. This reminds me of the screeds about how “liberal women will need to compromise for the good of the demographics of the country, they’ll need to date conservatives of course!” - THEY REALLY THINK THIS SHIT. They feel they’re being DISCRIMINATED against for their views hahahaha, that’s how fucked up they are. https://www.nationalreview.com/magazine/2021/07/12/political-discrimination-as-civil-rights-struggle/

      it’s obscene.

      https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/3675477-young-women-are-trending-liberal-young-men-are-not/

      • EatATaco@lemm.eeEnglish
        1·
        9 months ago

        “liberal women will need to compromise for the good of the demographics of the country, they’ll need to date conservatives of course!” - THEY REALLY THINK THIS SHIT.

        I think I know where this argument is coming from, but it’s a gross misrepresentation of what was actually said. Neither of your links support that anyone thinks this is the case. In fact, from the very conservative one, even without having access to the full article, they very explicitly note, after having said that only 6% of college women would date a trump supporter “While people are free to discriminate however they wish in dating, this attitude bleeds into problematic spheres such as hiring and social toleration.” It’s clear that they are trying to make the argument that this dating bias is an indication of a deeper bias. It’s still dumb, but I’ve yet to hear anyone of merit actually argue “liberal women will need to compromise for the good of the demographics of the country, they’ll need to date conservatives of course!”

      • CulturedLout@lemmy.ca
        7·
        9 months ago

        Try interacting with women without the expectation of an intimate relationship. And I don’t mean “be friends for a while with the end goal of getting with them”. I think a big issue is seeing women as an achievement instead of as people.

      • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
        1·
        9 months ago

        I am not sure exactly what to advise, I imagine the longer you don’t do something about this the worst is going to get. So maybe be proactive?

    • SuperSpruce@lemmy.zip
      4·
      9 months ago

      This is exactly my situation and it seems to get more dire every year that I stay single. I wish I could upvotes you a thousand times.