Not having a Facebook profile. I’ve had someone initially refuse to associate with me on the basis that they couldn’t investigate my life beforehand.
I just laughed and asked them how they managed to survive before the Internet (we were both old enough). We both got over the weirdness of the situation, built a robot, and were friends for a while before they moved away.
I’m sad now that I’ve never had a “build a robot together” friend
If a person can readily describe their failings it could seem like a red flag because they have failings, but everyone has failings and being aware of them is a positive.
Making life choices different from the societal standard (e.g. not wanting children or not wanting a marriage). Sure, if your own desires are incompatible with that you might need to find someone else but a lot of people who do go with the societal standard actually just do so because they never thought about alternatives and have a rather romanticized notion of that default option and might still grow to regret it later which can then often lead to breakups/divorce if that only happens to one partner in the relationship. People who make different choices at least thought about what they want. Basically you want a partner who has already thought about these and not one who only discovers their actual preferences on these options a few years into your relationship.
All these stupid “ignore them to seem attractive because interested = unsexy”
Not being a virgin anymore? Thats something good too.
Having actively broken up a past relationship, knowing barriers.
Hanging out with friends rather than you sometimes, which is really important “relationship time management”
Not being a virgin anymore? Thats something good too.
I find it absurd that virginity or lack thereof has any bearing.
I guess it feels magical to be someone’s first.
But as @otp said - experience brings knowledge of yourself and others and can make stuff more enjoyable and easier to do.
For people who value reading: if they have no books on their shelves. They might be avid readers of ebooks, or just use the library.
But this should clear itself up with a rather simple discussion started by mentioning a book you read recently.
Them being happy for how they are, like myself being happy while larger.
Especially when it’s something that goes against “societal norms” like diet culture.
Close to where I was aiming
Each and every person is born with a preference of how they want to be, including body size.
Having a diet for weight loss when this is done in complete free will, safety and love for self should be absolutely celebrated. And the exact same is for having a diet for weight gain. As long as it’s for reaching what the person feels the most comfortable in being, that being (almost) any variation strong, thin or fat, it should be celebrated.
What I was trying to say is the beauty of being happy in whatever body you are, or want to have. Everyone should be completely free to be the real them, and what they think suits them the most.
Not talking all the time when spending time together. Being able to just quietly enjoy each other’s company sometimes is actually a good thing since it allows both partners to relax without constantly worrying about keeping their partner’s attention or keeping them entertained.
Currently sitting next to silent bf silently. We just grunt at each other for days in a row. Live with someone wanting constant interaction = hell.
To be nice or friendly with kids.
What kind of society or culture considered being friendly towards children a red flag? Spoken as both a father of two and former child: you can be friendly to children without being a creep.
Spoken as a non-father it’s not so easy.
I accept the risk because I refuse to participate in a system that cuts off kids from the adults around them, but I know that when I talk to a child I’m almost certainly going to be seen as a pedophile for it.
As a man (I know starting a sentence that way can also be a red flag), I’m always nervous when kids interact with me.
It feels like I’m being judged harshly for just wanting to be friendly and that I could so quickly be accused of being a pervert or worse.
So I just don’t interact with them.
My policy as a recently new father will also probably be that I won’t have my daughter’s friends over when I’m the only adult present.
Get this: my friend is “not allowed” to be left alone with his daughter. His own daughter. If wife needs to go out without baby, baby gets dropped off at grandparents (wife’s parents) instead of just staying home with dad. What’s even more ridiculous is his profession is early childhood educator. He’s more qualified than most other parents out there, male or female. I don’t know how he puts up with being insulted like that.
Of course it makes little sense that he would go along with this. But why in god’s name would she want to stay married to someone she doesn’t trust with his own children?
Being a healthy weight - as misinterpreted by shallow young people that “want dat thigh gap”.
“Thigh gap” doesn’t typically happen at a healthy weight. That’s usually a sign of being underweight.
Do people still talk about thigh gaps? I know there’s still an unhealthy obsession with being underweight, but I thought that went out of style with Kony 2012.
