• NumbersCanBeFun@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    I’m one of those people. I got a therapist recently. It’s not great just like all the other times I got one.

    For me personally it’s because I hate expressing myself. I grew up poor, with no father and barely a mother since she was working all the time. I also basically raised my little brother.

    I had to deal with all the problems associated with that plus taking care of my brother and the buck stopped with me always when it was just him and I. What’s the point in complaining about something when you’re stuck in the situation and nobody is going to do anything to help anyways?

    • Very_Bad_Janet@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      What’s the point in complaining about something when you’re stuck in the situation and nobody is going to do anything to help anyways?

      Yep, this is likely what you’re working on in therapy - the sadness and disappointment and maybe even depression that come after complaining and people do not support you or meet your needs. You were placed in a really unfair (ETA: and probably overwhelming and stressful) situation- raising yourself and your brother without people helping you. I’m sending you an electronic hug, Internet stranger.

    • NotSpez@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      I don’t have the full answer for you.

      I will say that healing is not a switch to be flicked, but a process (often painstakingly long). And one of the first steps in that process is being very realistic with ourselves about what problems we have, how they are affecting us, and where they come from. In this sense, talking about them is very relevant.

      • NumbersCanBeFun@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        I’m angry all the time. I self destruct in terrible ways that only hurt myself and I’ll literally push my stress limits to the breaking point. Oh I also like to lash out randomly at strangers at the internet when I’m in a bad mood.

        My therapist suggested a hobby. I started my YouTube channel back up and I’m trying to focus my energy on making positive content. It works and it keeps me from falling into the trappings I’ve found myself on the past.

        My issue isn’t identifying my problems. My issue is finding someone I can trust to help me work through those problems. I’ve generally resolved every major conflict in my life alone so it’s difficult to work with someone else when I’m so used to doing it alone.

        • starelfsc2@sh.itjust.works
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          1 year ago

          That really sucks… wish you got the support you deserved/hope you get the support you need…

          I don’t know you as well as your therapist and it might sound kinda dumb, but have you tried anything like yoga? Even small things like passing a ball back and forth with someone can put you into your body and out of your mind, hopefully letting you relax a bit, which might help your mind on average be more calm.

    • NoiseColor@startrek.website
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      1 year ago

      It must have been very difficult.

      Complaining could be a start? Maybe a better start world be to just do something that’s risky. I don’t know. There is no reason to live in pain like that.

      • NumbersCanBeFun@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        Not all of us get to be happy. Someone has to step up and take responsibility for the issues that impact mine and those few I do care about in my personal life. It sucks but once I’m dead I won’t really have to process the feelings about it… so I can look forward to that in my later years.

        • NoiseColor@startrek.website
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          1 year ago

          Maybe change your therapist. Because it is possible to be happy, it is possible to go beyond yourself and get to experience what you want. It’s possible. Are you afraid, or too ashamed to try to change.

          At least try to find out why you are doing things you are doing.