For me, it used to be my career. Without going into detail, it was a public service type occupation where I could really help people. However, I was battling depression, anxiety, and addiction, and after being hospitalized and jailed multiple times, I lost that career. Even while I was going through all that dark stuff, I felt great at my job helping people, and I feel like I was good at it.

Now, I have a different career that I still feel good about doing, but I can never shake the feeling that I’ll somehow mess this one up too, eventually. My doctor told me I have to be active, so I took up longboarding. I still have bad depression with frequent bouts of suicidal thoughts, but when I’m on a bicycle or longboard, that’s the only time I feel really at peace with myself. I wish I could feel like that all the time.

Do you have things you do that make you feel like that? Like you’re really free?

  • Swimmerman96@beehaw.orgEnglish
    0·
    1 year ago

    I have something like that as well. Skiing and swimming make me feel like that, in different ways.

    I’m a lifelong skier, and raced for a couple of years in high school which really improved my general skiing skills, comfort, and confidence. When I’m skiing, I can get to the top of a mountain with an incredible view, I can better see just how vast that little section of the world is. I feel small but at the same time I feel like I can conquer anything, the only thing that can hold me back is a willingness to try.

    I’m also a lifelong swimmer, and raced at an amateur level for a about a decade between middle school, high school, and college. It feels amazing to be comfortable and move well in an environment that’s almost totally not for humans. It feels like what I imagine being able to fly would, and unlocks a whole new world of otherwise unconventional movements and if you take it to a large pond/lake/ocean weird and amazing creatures as well. That can be amplified even more by doing things like snorkeling, even more curious creatures and structures, not needing to break the immersion to breath. It’s a world unlike anything else.

    Edit: Sorry about the spam, this seemed to be failing while on Airplane WiFi, so I kept resubmitting not realizing each was actually submitted.

    • Link.wav [he/him]@beehaw.orgOPEnglish
      1·
      1 year ago

      Skiing is something I’ve always thought I’d enjoy, if I lived in a place that made it possible. I did go as a teenager once and had a great time.