For me, it used to be my career. Without going into detail, it was a public service type occupation where I could really help people. However, I was battling depression, anxiety, and addiction, and after being hospitalized and jailed multiple times, I lost that career. Even while I was going through all that dark stuff, I felt great at my job helping people, and I feel like I was good at it.

Now, I have a different career that I still feel good about doing, but I can never shake the feeling that I’ll somehow mess this one up too, eventually. My doctor told me I have to be active, so I took up longboarding. I still have bad depression with frequent bouts of suicidal thoughts, but when I’m on a bicycle or longboard, that’s the only time I feel really at peace with myself. I wish I could feel like that all the time.

Do you have things you do that make you feel like that? Like you’re really free?

  • trohamar@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    “Create” stuffs in some way. Draw shapes in roll and write games. Make labels for storage. Piece together artwork with perler beads. Cook solely for myself.

    • Link.wav [he/him]@beehaw.orgOP
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      1 year ago

      Finding a creative outlet is so nice. When I got sober from alcohol, I coped by investing myself heavily into the Skyrim modding community. It’s nice to think people still use something I created for them.