For me, it used to be my career. Without going into detail, it was a public service type occupation where I could really help people. However, I was battling depression, anxiety, and addiction, and after being hospitalized and jailed multiple times, I lost that career. Even while I was going through all that dark stuff, I felt great at my job helping people, and I feel like I was good at it.
Now, I have a different career that I still feel good about doing, but I can never shake the feeling that I’ll somehow mess this one up too, eventually. My doctor told me I have to be active, so I took up longboarding. I still have bad depression with frequent bouts of suicidal thoughts, but when I’m on a bicycle or longboard, that’s the only time I feel really at peace with myself. I wish I could feel like that all the time.
Do you have things you do that make you feel like that? Like you’re really free?
Aside from big things like my partner and my family, being outside or in nature always gives me that type of relief. Going on walks or hikes, noticing all the little things, the birds, the bugs, the leaves, the grass, the trees, the dirt, the gravel, just sitting down and watching people go by, as small as it sounds it really helps me center myself and put things into perspective.
Yes!
I find that foraging wild plants and mushrooms, educating myself as much as I can about the ecosystems I have access to, and actively locating patterns of plants and mushrooms when in nature, really enhances this experience. Helps me with the perspective too.
I like this as well. Sometimes I’ll go to a park and just sit under a tree.