I am currently on vacation and going to the beach sucks because I see these girls my age and think “Holy shit, I want to look like that.” But then I get heavy impostor syndrome. Maybe this is just me being attracted and wanting to be trans, so my brain makes it think it’s envious when it’s just attracted? So, how do you tell envy from attraction?
Hello, cis male here. My 2 cents would be not to worry so much about what you “really” are and just do what feels right for you today. You can play and experiment with gender as much or as little as you like. It’s entirely up to you, and that’s what determines what you “really” are.
For me, I’ve always been attracted to women (and to girls when I was younger). That’s never felt to me like wanting to look like them. If you want to look more like the girls your age, then try it and see how it feels.
I agree with your 2 cents. If OP eventually identify as cis, trans, or non-binary, that is great, but don’t rush it. It’s your own journey to take in your own pace, OP.