Undiagnosed here, seeking some inspiration and will to not lose hope.
Had anyone successfully gotten in tune with your ever changing hyper fixations?
- If so, how long do your fixation periods last?
- Do you have a structure or benchmark after which you can effectively “close that chapter”?
- What strategies do you have to nudge yourself towards topics which will be meaningful in the long run?
I tend to go from rabbit hole to rabbit hole but it never feels like I’m in control. These fixations never produce any meaningful outcomes and always have a cost which I pay for by neglecting other aspects of my life.
It is a superpower and a weakness as you all probably know. It’s great for expanding your interests and appreciating life through different perspectives. I don’t want to lose it and want to get into some harmony with it. Anyone had any success?
Thank you :)
I can relate so much. My whole life has been dominated by hyper fixations.
I can’t control them almost at all. Fighting them makes me depressed. If something remotely positive comes up I’ll jump in. It’s better than some of the more problematic ones.
Some last a few weeks, some lasted as long as 2 to 3 years. And everything in between. I have one hobby that lasted almost my whole life since childhood but a few years ago was replaced. Video games. Just don’t interested anymore in my mid 30s from one day to the next. Been gaming since I’m 8. Some fixations come and leave.
What helped me.
- I stopped giving myself shit for quitting. Without the guilt I also found it easier to return to something.
- endulge the positive and social ones. Like my chess one was fun, to play at local trounaments and such.
- I got better but not by much at not overspending on every fixation. It’s still a bit much but the trend is positive.
- I realized I have a ridiculous amount of superficial knowledge and okay skills at various topics and activities. People initially believe in bulshitting but I can back it up so that kinda cool.
- I try to enjoy the time in between rabbit holes now. It’s tough, I used to feel aimless and sad and out of balance. But these days I try to embrace the calm before the storm.
Time between fixations is usually only a week or so max. All other time of my life is spend in hyper fixated mode. It is a bit tiring and it does control my life quite a bit. Makes life harder.
I don’t know how to close the chapter. Usually interest in the topic just is gone from 100 to 0 over night without warning.
Dang… thank you for sharing. It’s really tough when certain interests literally take over your life. The time between fixations of a week feels like you’re just getting time to breathe and resurface before getting dragged down again.
It’s interesting how you’ve weaned off gaming as I find myself keep coming back to that rush of dopamine. I just change games if I’m getting bored and it becomes a never ending cycle. There is hope for me! What did you replace it with if I may ask?
Love the idea of nurturing social and outdoor projects. The act of being witnessed by others does help. And you can’t go wrong with nature!
That superficial knowledge feels like you’re building a big table of contents, good enough to reference just not enough to write the chapters. All depends on your note-taking and documentation I guess.
Maybe a suggestion regarding closure, as it helped me, was fixating on my past behaviours as it’s own research. I once spent 2 weeks just listing out my rabbit holes: what sparked it, how much time I spent and what point I went from 100-0. At least for me, I could see that the moment my brain had a clear path ahead and “progressing” on such fixation becomes a matter of just discipline/“putting the hours in”, my brain was like ‘boooring, let’s move on’. Acceleration is easy but maintaining speed is a huge challenge. Controlled deceleration is another lol. Reading other responses here reminded me that the times I felt some closure was when I had made something tangible or have it validated by others, however minimal.
Great to hear you’re becoming more aware of yourself and it’s trending towards positive. Really do appreciate hearing what has helped you.
Wow. Thank you for sharing. What a thoughtful response!
If I ever feel the urge to write down all my hobbies and projects and rabbit hole topics I will. But currently that sounds like an absolute chore.
I replaced gaming with painting and building miniatures for TTRPGs. TTRPGs are my other life long hobby. I hope it stays. It’s nice because I get to share the results to people without it being about me. They are just game pieces and people like them.
Gaming just stopped feeling rewarding one day. It felt pointless.
And yes. Once I know all the steps I have to take to the end I often lose interest. Figuring out the way often is most of the fun. Actually walking the way isn’t always why I got interested. I think. It’s really hard to grasp.
Sometimes I really hate the lack of control over my life.
But then it leads me to so many interesting places regularly. I just hope it never picks up something too destructive.
Haha it was a chore to finish… the urge started at 4am one night so can’t say it was a controlled acceleration either.
Ttrpgs is a fantastic hobby. So jealous. You’re working with your hands and collaboratively building with a sense of play.
Can understand things telling pointless… you’re making me question things now.
Ah yeah this constant meandering does flesh out ones personality. Lack of control is frustrating… Comes at a cost but as people said, it’s all a matter of limiting the destruction. Keep on trucking fellow traveller. Appreciate you sharing your experience
I’ve stopped giving myself a hard time for having wandering interests and not finishing anything.
I try to look at it more as I’m having fun researching and implementing things, that’s what hobbies are for.
Trying to force myself to finish things really sucked the fun out of them. Now I have literal and figurative buckets for each project so I can easily put down and pick up projects.
I find myself moving between fewer projects and putting more effort into them than I would have before.
I do keep some buckets closer than others, so I’m more likely to pick those up when I have free time;
Drawing
Designing fidget toys
Electronics project C
I do tend to admonish myself so yes, giving yourself a hard time is not a healthy long term strategy… need to be kinder to myself…
Having literal buckets is a lovely idea. Visible and easily accessible. I tend to gravitate towards digital rabbit holes which are harder to “complete”. Getting your hands dirty with physical objects is a great alternative.
I presume you’ve built the framework over time to try limit the number of projects you’re juggling. Glad you’re making the most of it.
Appreciate your response :)
For digital rabbit holes, something like Notion helps a lot. I have one page per interest and I collect learnings and links related to the topic in there. Similarly to the physical buckets, they are all in one space so you can have a quick look at refresh your memory and pick up where you left off.
I’ve been a little intimidated by Notion due to the sheer customisation potential. However, it does seem to help folks and it’d be a shame not to have at least tried it.
You’ve nudged a fellow being towards a good habit and for that I thank you.
I don’t even know nothing about the customization. I just create a page and dump links, pictures and some typing in there.
But yes! Small, incremental change!
Today I feel like learning how to breakdance, so no
Lol interpreting the helpful comments here, all you need to do is take a video of your attempts and keep coming back to it once a month until you become a proper popper-locker!
I just accepted that getting focused on something is an urge like any other and to avoid spending much money if it reminded me of other times I got sucked into something and it didn’t work out. Basically setting a limit on cost.
Time though, that will be lost anyway and I’ve come to accept it. After a few decades my limitations have sunk in and it is really just coping with the disorder.
Also it isn’t a superpower. Yes, quick and shallow understanding of things can come pretty quickly if I am interested. But that is a tradeoff for the inability to retain most previously gained knowledge.
Appreciate your response.
That acceptance you have gained is key to managing it… And the ability to not get too excited and remembering past moments. I like that idea of setting limits on cost, whether money or time.
And yes on reflection it’s not a “superpower”. I have seen some people around me manage this disorder in a way that avoided this shallow understanding through good note taking and putting the hours in over longer periods of time. Just trying to see what strategies the folks here employ.
Your approach feels to me (correct me if wrong), about cultivating awareness to return to the present without getting too invested. You may have worked on it or it may have come naturally over time. You’ve reminded me of my lost meditation practice haha. So thank you.
Pretty much, yeah. I’m actually pretty successful professionally and have had to temper my excitement about new projects knowing that I’ve dug myself into too much work in the past. I also have to pay a lot of attention to the audience when discussing technical topics to avoid getting too far into the weeds.
Really it just comes down to being self aware enough about my tendencies which is something even neurotypical people would get a huge benefit from. I just have to do it to function in society, so I get a LOT of practice!
This is where I’m at too. There are some methods and principles I can try to enact, like if I’m hyperfocused on a subject I feel is actually worthwhile I can limit my exposure to other new stimuli in the hopes of maintaining the focus for longer. But ultimately my brain is out of my control and it’s really only a case of coping and damage limitation.
And yeah I wish people would stop referring to an inhibiting disorder as a superpower. It’s really not.
That’s a fair point. Ye are right… “superpower” is the wrong term, especially when most people feel the negatives consequences of such a disorder.
Think that term stuck as an attempt at reframing it to try take some control back over this “tendency” to meander. Either fight it or roll with it, nudging it bit by bit and as you say, limiting the damage. Thank you.
I don’t know what I am, but I do hyper focus on projects, lots of them. But I come back to them and forward them, eventually finishing them.
So I have a great wheel of projects :-) sometimes one is finished (built a 3D printer, drew a comics, made and published a game, made a spud amp, …) sometime one is added, dometimes one is dormant (the hyper efficient loudspeaker, online strategy game, …) some are forever projects like drawing and painting.
Sure, I would probably be better at that one thing if I only did that one thing, but it works for me.
It seems you have a good system to bookmark projects! Love the idea of a wheel, just spin it to pick your next direction. That way you’re limiting exposure to new projects while slowly progressing the existing.
Thank you for your response!
Atomic Habits is a good book that might help you (or not).
I use daily habit tracking for my self-care (and also my hobbies). It’s not for everyone but it keeps me grounded.
I did read the book a long time back but got daunted by having to break down each project into actionable steps. The moment it went on a to do list, my interest suddenly died.
Maybe that’s a good way to limit exposure to new ideas haha.
Glad it was useful for you. Time to dust off the book and give a re-read in the hopes I’ve matured since my last time.
Thank you.
