Lists of crisis hotlines across the world: (Crisis Hotline) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crisis_hotline#Telephone_counseling
(Helplines, Suicide Hotlines, and Crisis Lines from Around the World) https://www.therapyroute.com/article/helplines-suicide-hotlines-and-crisis-lines-from-around-the-world
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I understand the message but for those suffering, be forewarned, not everyone can understand what you’re going through. People that love you and care about you will just stare at you and say: “umm … okay”. It is not a judgement against them or their character that they don’t understand it.
I say that as someone that was clinically depressed. It was helpful for me, and I can only speak for myself, but try to find others that are feeling the same way and talking to them. It’s far easier to speak to others that “get it”. That’s not to say you shouldn’t open up to your friends … I have and I don’t regret it. However, don’t expect everyone to understand what you’re going through.
This isn’t realistic.
I’ve dealt with depression before.
People will say they want to support you and want to know what’s going on. If you describe a problem, the person listening almost always offers a solution. If you start to explain why their solution won’t work, they almost instantly get super annoyed and may suddenly become unavailable the next time you call.
People want to think of themselves as the type of person who would be supportive of a depressed person, but most “supportive” people who feel this way still adhere to normal social mores and expectations and get pissed or annoyed when a depressed person doesn’t follow them. It’s also super hard for a depressed person to simultaneously discus their depression and adhere to unwritten social niceties.
If I as a depressed person keep my feelings to myself, if I get better I still may have friends and if I die at least some people may show up to my funeral. If I lean on non-depressed people for support, they will expect normal social responses that adhere to unwritten codes and will get annoyed, the result being for me at best fewer friends and at worst a cremation with no one who cares about the ashes.
Honestly fuck that tweet or whatever. Shit like that is bout making society feel better with corporatesque platitudes like “Mental Health Awareness is Important! See something say something!” or whatever empty cheerleading slogan exists to encourage the workers while the most poor of all rot on the street (unless they fall asleep, causing them to be arrested, whenceupon they are fed in jail). Most people do not give a fuck, that’s why a homeless subpopulation exists, fuck this planet and fuck empty tweets like this.
Thank you for expressing what I’ve never been able to put into words
Thank you for acknowledging that this is a real thing.
I’m so incredibly lucky to have a couple friends who I can dump my terrible thoughts on and have them just go “that fucking sucks and I wish I could help” and not try to give advice or try to offer comfort by talking about how they got through bad times
I learned the hard way which people I can talk to and be honest with and which I can’t
Some people do have the capacity to express this sentiment, if only for a few hours a week or month. And they’ll dedicate that time to crisis centers like the one in the message, where it can save a life or at least pause an irreversible decision in the moment.
People do not give a fuck. But sometimes they do.
I hate that this took me till i was a father to figure this out. And even then my kids were in there late teens to twenties beforehand it really sunk in.
How can I expect my kids to open up to me if I won’t open up to them.
Thank you.
I feel like most of these comments are really out there, like a cry for help.
I wish. No one IRL treats me like this. Everyone’s eyes glaze over or they freak out. There is no support.
That’s the heartbreaking part - so many would genuinely rather hear about your death than have to suffer your “whining” (most would not admit that though). I suppose it takes all kinds of people in this world…
Yeah my wife kinda said she was tired of hearing me be depressed. And now she wonders why I’m a bit closed off today, or numb.
Those are really difficult emotions to deal with. I’ve been there, with friends, partners and spouses. It’s hard. I wish I could help more but all I can say is you’re not alone. I know it hurts. I hope you find something to smile about today ❤️
Came to say the same thing. It’s awesome to be optimistic and wholesome, but very few people care that in depth. It’s also really hard to shoulder someone at that level.
Especially with males.
I also have clinical depression and I really get the lack of support. Nevertheless, I would give him the benefit of the doubt. I think what he’s emphasizing is the “no one” part. There are some, fewer than id like, people that want to see the world a better place and we gotta support each other
I get the sentiment with posts like this, but I hate them. They’re so disingenuous to me. If someone reads them and gains something positive from the message then good, but I just hate them.
Speaking for myself, personally, I also don’t like the maximalism. It is (should) also (be) okay to talk about your depression, anxiety and issues, if you aren’t at all suicidal and in no risk of becoming suicidal. Imagining reading something like this as past me, who was more stuck in depression than today, I’d read it as “okay, I know I am not at all suicidal, so I better not talk about my issues so that the ones that are can have all the resources, as I am not worthy of them.”
The truth is: Professionals (including specialised hotlines) and really, really good friends (and ironically, sometimes strangers on the internet) are the only
trulymostly reliable places to vent and find support without risking being misunderstood, and/or them not following through at all. And you have to build from there, with their help.
Said nobody ever. Not blaming anyone. It’s just an observation.
I used to have a bunch of toxic friends in my 20s where someone goes “I’m struggling” and someone replies “Everyone is. Stop bringing us down.” That was the clearest way I saw that.
These days, I see it in different ways. The coworker that’s just TMIs and people give that look to them/tell them that this is a professional setting. Or during a check-in, someone goes, “Everything is great” and holding it all in.
It’s not that I don’t want to burden others, it’s that I know they can’t do anything to help.
You guys have friends and family?
I have a friend that pops up every so often. And my parents never say hi to my friend. Rude.
I saw Felonious Munk at the DC Comedy Loft in Dec 24. Top notch show. Mental health was part of his set and was well received by the audience.
What a tastefully named gentleman. Thank you kind sir.
Beautiful name because it’s a riff off of Thelonious Monk, a beautiful jazz musician that I place in my top 3 of musicians. Other two being John Coltrane and Miles Davis. Honorable mention would be Chet Baker as he is definitely up there, but listening to Chet just brings you into a whole different mood. Much preferable on a gloomy, rainy day with a cup of coffee or tea in hand.
Anyways, Fuck Nazi’s.
Yeah, I don’t suffer in silence. I do see a therapist, I highly recommend it.
I will not discuss my depression because I can physically see the effect it has depressing others
Tks
Why burden someone who has their own plethora of issues with my personal issues?
Everyone’s fucked ATM, how could you not have some form of mental issues with the way everything is atm? You can’t look anywhere without the grim reminders of how fucked we are, even if you actively avoid it.
We’re a frogs sneeze away from WW3 and we all know damn well it’s gonna be nuclear.
We bond over that shared trauma, then go kick rocks together to cope.
I’m reading all these comments in the “Lemmy Be Wholesome” community and just yikes.
I can see it from both perspectives.
Sometimes, I can’t handle a random person like a coworker emotional-dump on me. I’ll give shallow level sympathy. We don’t have a relationship where we both trust each other to give advice or support in a successful way. So yeah, you’re going to get a “Bro that’s rough man.”
If I really like the person, I’m there for them, above and beyond. The tradeoff has to be mutual. They got my back, and I have theirs. Its my wife. It’s my therapist. It’s my best buddy from high school. It’s my team from work. It’s the coffee shop people I see every other day.
Lots of work and trust built before I can open up.
That’s what I’m wondering here. You people okay? You people out there building real connections?
I think this sounds nice, but often even with close people this doesn’t work well and a depressed person risks damaging the relationship. A spouse or best friend will sometimes deal with it for a year. They often won’t deal with it for yearS. I have a hard time envisioning you’ve been extraordinarily depressed before, even if you’ve been technically depressed and took Proaz for a month, and I doubt anything like that has even happened.
