Bonespurs getting elected again, and I haven’t overcome it yet.

I started my own bussiness early this year. Though I’m not in the clear yet, I must say that commiting to actually doing it was the most anxiety inducing experience of my entire life. I was feeling physically ill for months due to the extreme levels of fear and worrying wether I’m about to make a huge mistake.

Me. Not therapy nor medications (because I interrupted them thanks to the unemployment), but my biological programming.

Me, and I’ll let you know if I figure it out

Had a half hearted not quite suicide attempt, call it a dry run. I want to die even more now, but I quit my job so I have nothing to stress me into acting on it so I spend every day doing nothing wishing I did

Things don’t improve unless you improve them, and I’ve tried and tried and just made everything worse. People love to chime in “you’ll get there eventually!” and no, I won’t, because I just don’t have it in me to try anymore. I’ve gotten worse at managing the ADHD, the depression has sapped my energy and motivation to nothing. I’m over being alive, but I refuse to hurt the people I care about so I’m stuck here until things get so bad I don’t care about hurting others.

Me.

Medication and therapy.

I’ll go first. I had a heart attack a few months ago. Thankfully, i was at home, and my dad is a doctor, so he maintained the situation before i could get to a hospital.

I lost my friends and my partner. I’m pretty alone, still have cancer, and pretty much just wish something would just fucking kill me overnight.

I can pass out semi randomly because of POTS, I’ve nearly fallen down large flights of stairs multiple times this year.

I’ve also seen the white light after getting a hormone booster in the hospital, not sure how close it was but when I got back the amount of nurses and doctors next to my bed had multiplied significantly.

For me it was the weather that almost did me in. Just me and the snow now.

I learned that I’m a diabetic the hard way (went into diabetic ketoacidosis and spent several days in the ICU). This happened while I was thousands of miles from home and was not a pleasant experience. Thankfully things are pretty well controlled now that I’m on insulin.

Taking it metaphorically the whole course of my life currently is killing me softly. I’ve got very little to complain about my life but I am just completely lost where I am even going and it is dragging me into depression. I’m getting help from both my employer and by my own looking for it but it’ll take time. Working through issues is hard though.

I wish you all the strength with your heart issues and hope it never rears its head again!

Was eating a bacon sandwich at a local park cafe when I started choking on a fatty piece that got stuck in my throat. Luckily a man next to me had just done a first aid course so knew what to do.

Me on electric scooter driving cca 20 km/h. About 3 meters before traffic light which had red light on. I brake instantly from 20-0 and learned how to fly. Sure it won’t kill me but still was fun and could get worse.

Someone on the highway crossed 4 lanes of traffic very suddenly and almost took me out.

And also the self restraint I’ve been practicing to not fight my coworker is cutting my life in half.