There was a rather upsetting post recently that attracted a lot of apparently non-LGBT+ people with bad opinions. I’d like to remind everyone that “bee kind” includes not accepting, normalizing, and ignoring transphobic opinions and beliefs. We’re all together in this.
Here are some bad opinions I saw:
- “People need to be educated, and you’re not going to change their minds by becoming hostile.”
The first thing that’s obviously wrong with this is that it makes the people targeted by LGBTphobia appear to the the ones who are “overreacting” or being “hysterical,” but there’s more…
Certainly, education needs to happen, and patience is a virtue. A valid example of reasonable education to expect would be “I go by they/them now.” What education should not need to include on the part of the LGBT+ person is a defense of one’s validity as a human or one’s existence. Most people who think that it should point to examples like Daryl Davis, and I mean … good for him, but that’s not an example we all need to or even can/should follow. For many LGBT+ people, it can feel like a contant battle to live and be accepted. Expecting us to address every bad-faith argument or misguided belief on the part of LGBTphobes is … honestly, that’s just an offensive opinion in and of itself and very dismissive of reality.
- “[Famous person] literally did the bare minimum to support gay people, so I doubt they’re transphobic.”
Okay, first of all, I can only facepalm so hard before it creates a black hole that consumes the fabric of reality, but you said patient education is a thing we should do, so here it is: There are many, many people who claim to be “allies” while only supporting select groups within the LGBT+ spectrum. The reason I put “allies” in quotation marks is that these people are not allies. We are all in this together. You can’t be an ally for me, a cis gay person, without also supporting trans people. These are my siblings, my community too, and we should not tolerate it. Likewise, the LG people I’ve met who don’t support the BT+ don’t belong in this community. Full stop.
So no, supporting the LG is not really possible without supporting the BT+. Sorry, not sorry.
- “They’re from a different time.”
Absolutely one of the worst arguments I’ve ever heard, and I say this as a Gen X-er. No. Just no. There has never been a time in my life that transphobia was acceptable. Perhaps it was sadly normalized in certain times and places, but it has never been okay. If anything, it’s even more important to speak up in those times and places when and where bigotry is seen as “normal.” It’s even more important then to be an ally.
And my 80+ parents are not transphobic in the least. It’s so easy to understand the basics of what it means to be trans that there is not even the shadow of an excuse.
I really don’t think vapid and pointless arguments like those above should be allowed in a space that’s supposed to be a safe and validating community. I understand some of these people may be well-meaning non-LGBT+ people, but it’s exhausting having to address the gish gallop of absolute nonsensical attempts to make transphobia seem okay. It is NOT okay, and we shouldn’t pretend that it is.
I even saw some people arguing that excluding trans people isn’t transphobic. That’s how unhinged some of these people are.
So TERFs and other transphobes stfu challenge 2023.
EDIT:
Thank you to everyone who responded with understanding. I think it had to be said. At first I wasn’t sure it was my place since I’m not trans, but I know how exhausting it can be. They did the same thing to me back in the day. It’s a silencing tactic. “Gish gallop” is the term that comes to mind.
But I’ve had a few ugly trolls in the thread behaving just as described in my post. I will report each and every one of you 💛
I’d like to remind anyone who takes issue with this rant to send your hot takes directly to my attorney where they belong. Thank you for your cooperation.
It’s no one’s job to do anything. But if you want to achieve real world results you have to work with the psychology of real world humans. This isn’t a game with an even playing field, it’s real life where people that pursue truth have to work way harder than those that peddle lies.
It’s a completely understandable sentiment because it’s an inherently unfair dynamic, no argument there. But if you want to change things you have to change people and that requires acknowledging that human minds are resistant to corrections and get even more obstinate in the face of hostility. Especially when there’s a whole political movement of reactionaries that will lie about you to get their way.
Not everyone is worth the effort of course, some are too dogmatically attached to their beliefs and others are just contrarian assholes that like hurting others. But the existence of close minded assholes doesn’t mean they are the only people that exist.
This is tone deaf asf tbh. The post is in reference to Beehaw, a place with exceedingly high trans* representation, not the world at large. It’s reasonable to expect people to educate themselves pretty heckin quick in a community like this.
I guess that’s fair. I went a bit too broad for the specific topic at hand. Didn’t notice it was exclusively about one server.
Sorry for derailing.
Projection much?
Actually it’s a well established psychological phenomenon:
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.2466/09.02.10.CP.1.17
Got any actual response to my point or just more arrogant snark?
I think you were probably blocked for good reason, but that analysis does not mention a single thing about being obstinate in the face of hostility or aggression. In fact, the paper states “Several studies have tried to analyze components and qualities of resistance to change, but their conclusions have been, to a large extent, divergent.” So the answer is actually “We dunno” not a trans person was mean to them for good reason and now they refuse to change.
But yeah, by all means, keep tone policing and mis-representing meta-analysis
I was blocked because their insult didn’t land and they got upset. If you want to keep looking into it you’ll see, I’m referring to a real phenomenon and how it can affect the success of activism.
Honestly though blocking me for a good faith comment and providing a source kinda backs my point to be honest.
You’re missing the forrest for the trees. It doesn’t matter if people are obstinate in the face of a change in view. Nobody is denying that. The point is that it is not up to oppressed people to be nice to their oppressor. That
The problem isn’t the reaction to hate, the problem is the hate.
Yeah I heard at the end of World War II the Jewish people all got together and bought presents for Hitler and he was like “Oh wow, I’ve been so wrong, Jewish people are good!” (it also helped that he watched 21 Jump Street) and then he released them all and that was the end of that. /s
The idea that you can bring your oppressors around by being kind to them is some fucking stockholm syndrome shit.