So I know everyone is going to answer “yes”, but I want actual real thoughts. I just want to know where I fit in.

I’m AMAB, and present as male, at least on the surface. I’ve always felt that was wrong though. But I don’t necessarily think I’m a woman. I wish I was more feminine. And recently I started full body laser hair removal, and I have pretty long hair, and currently have my toe nails painted. But I also have a beard, and otherwise present totally as cis.

Am I “trans”? I don’t feel “cis”, but I feel like calling myself trans just isn’t accurate and is inappropriate. Is there any other option?

And a complicating factor is that I’m basically only attracted to female presenting people. I see a lot of mtf trans people posting online “t4t”. Would other trans people consider me “trans”?

  • Mia@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    3 months ago

    I think what it boils down to is: if you could instantly become a woman, would you?

    I’m in a situation similar to yours. Getting laser (the beard’s already gone though >:3), long hair, trying to present more androgynous, but otherwise male presenting at the moment… regrettably…

    I consider myself trans because I’m actively trying to rectify that and if I was given the opportunity to magically switch, I would without even thinking about it.

    I would say expertiment a bit and see if something clicks in you. If it doesn’t, that’s fine too. You may be gender non-confirming, which by what you described would be perfectly reasonable.

    Or it could be that you’re just not ready yet. I myself had to remove a ton of mental barriers to accept this part of me, but when I did, it felt extremely liberating and obvious. But trust me, I struggled a lot getting there, thinking it couldn’t possibly be the case.

    So experiment, really think about it, and see where you land. If you’re not sure yet, repeat. You’ll eventually find your sweetspot, and it’ll be fine, whichever it is.

    Feel free to ask if you have questions.