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I’m from a very red county in Utah, and I had a lot of those same fears when I started transitioning about 15 years ago. I wasn’t as worried about hate crimes back then, but honestly, even nowadays I still feel safe. I’m lucky enough that I’m able to live my life in a low-crime area though. My main worries are about closing opportunities and my life just becoming harder and more stressful.

So yeah, I still have some fear towards being authentic around certain people. I still boymode (as best I can with my appearance) when I’m around family and somewhat at work. But I’ve always known that the earlier a person starts HRT treatment, the more successful their transition would be. So I started taking HRT as soon as I knew how to get it, and I never stopped taking it because I knew I would regret letting my body masculinize even more. And honestly now, I’m confident enough in my transition and who I am, that it doesn’t really matter to me what pronouns people use for me or anything.

I would just say that there is no “right” way to transition, and you can transition in the aspects you want and feel safe with, and boymode in others that are risky or that are not that important to you. But I would caution you to not close future doors by detransitioning, if you know you are trans. I think things will get better with time.

Mostly I was nervous about people noticing that I’m trans. I really thought that I would look like a super masculine guy but with big breasts. Eventually I got to a point where I didn’t care what I looked like, I just needed to try transitioning. Luckily things turned out well for me in terms of appearance, but you know, it could’ve been better if I started when I first knew I was trans.

At the time, my mental health was pretty poor, so I didn’t really care about side effects (fortunately I’m doing a lot better now).

This might be controversial, but for me personally, I would tell myself to not be so afraid to try HRT, that I’m going to take it later anyway, and that I would regret not starting earlier.

I ended up getting HRT off the Internet at 21, but I knew about DIY HRT, and was tempted to buy it, back when I was around 16 years old.

More weight to kneel on people’s necks with.

My day was pretty good. Just an average day off from work. Went on a little drive and mostly just relaxed today.

The website that BlueSharkEnjoyer shared is a really great place to get information about DIY transitioning. Also, r/transDIY if you still have access to Reddit.

I’ll just comment on your third question, because there are various reasons why someone might want to go the DIY route. Some quick examples I can think of are:

• Laws that make it hard to access HRT through traditional means.

• Long wait-list times to have access to gender-affirming treatment.

• Gatekeeping practices that make it unreasonably hard to access HRT.

• DIY can be lower cost, especially for people who are uninsured or who don’t feel the need to see a therapist.

• People who are insured with their parents might not want them to see their treatment on insurance statements. (My reason for doing DIY HRT)

• Some people are just “testing the waters” and don’t want a trans diagnosis on their medical record.

• Some people might not consider themselves to be trans, but want to take HRT anyway with minimal hassle.

• More control over dosage and medications.

• Ability to stockpile medication in case it can’t be obtained in the usual way.

I’m sure there are other reasons. Those are just the ones I can think of at the moment.

Yup, I’m quitting Reddit mostly because i use 3rd party apps to browse it. I hope some of the other communities i follow migrate as well.

I’m also subscribed to the transfem community on Raddle. It’s at https://raddle.me/f/transfem