I work with nurses. The vast majority of them are lovely people, but I’ve seen the nurse cliques you are talking about. So has my wife, who also works with nurses. I’ve seen departments of nurses with that “mean girl” vibe that require long-term HR intervention because they are so toxic to one another.
If you see this kind of behavior, run for the hills. However, if you are just talking about normal human interaction to pass the time and socialize, then it is you who are not conforming to normal social expectations. You don’t have to conform, of course, but there are consequences to being anti-social.
The question is, are you an introvert or a misanthrope? An introvert needs alone time to recharge and that’s fine. A misanthrope doesn’t like people, no doubt because of some childhood trauma. If the latter, then therapy might help.
If you truly are an introvert who needs alone time to recharge, I’d suggest “going home to check on the dog” during your break. Even if you don’t have a dog. The point is that you need alone time and that’s perfectly valid.
If you are generally sociable, but simply find their particular conversation boring or insipid, I’d suggest training for something where the work culture is more professional. Regular hospital floor nursing almost always has a “break room culture” and it is easy to get trapped in it, but there are lots of alternatives. Learn surgical assisting, for example, or become a nurse practitioner. Street nursing, public health nursing, and home care nursing are all examples where there is no real break room culture. Or get into management, where there are no breaks.
That’s a thought-provoking article you linked. Thanks. Unfortunately, ideological purity testing is a major problem across all sectors and spans the political spectrum. I was particularly struck by the part of the article that discussed whether “marginalized” status should be considered permanent or temporary.
I’ve worked in social services for a long time. Social activism is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, marginalized groups need activists to push their agenda. On the other, activists often adopt that social activism as their primary identity and sometimes even their career. This sets up an incentive structure whereby they don’t actually want to solve the problem of marginalization. Instead, they focus on ideological purity rather than pragmatically solving whatever problems they face.
Sexual orientation, indigenous rights, trans rights, disability rights, race, gender, even recreational drug use, are all marginalization issues that have all received a reasonable degree of social acknowledgement and formal protection.
In all the years I’ve worked in social services, the one issue that never goes away and is never solved or even seriously tackled is the intersection of poverty and mental illness. We are getting better as a society with treatable mental illness like depression and anxiety. However, major mental illness or untreatable/undiagnosed conditions like lack of impulse control that make it hard or impossible to work lead almost inexorably to poverty, addiction, and involvement with the criminal justice system. The activism on that front is itself marginalized because the “fix” isn’t a matter of changing language or mind set, but rather a massive investment of resources. It is easier to sit behind a keyboard and advocate online for nebulous issues like representation than to get out there and make people care about issues that cost real money.
As someone who works with seriously impoverished and mentally ill people, I find the sometimes extreme drama associated with identity politics, representation, pronouns, etc. rather ridiculous. A lot of it is just people trying to externalize their personal issues and force others to acknowledge them, which is unfortunate when it poisons a project or community. It is a form of narcissism, essentially. People who do that should go down to the tent cities, homeless shelters, and jails to get some perspective on just how “marginalized” they actually are and whether publicly exorcising their personal demons is worth destroying the enjoyment of others in a project or community. Their energy could almost certainly be better spent in less narcissistic pursuits.