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No. My friends (especially my closest friends) are not ADHD on the spectrum or have something similar. They may not be sane but definitely not ADHD more the opposite. In my family however that is another picture, but since it is hereditary it’s no wonder.
I just logged in to make this comment, because it is obviously not the norm here.
ADHD is genetic. So if you say a generation younger has ADHD and you have ADHD, it is very likely that the older generation has it as well.
And to your Fear of Failure with the diagnosis/labeling. The fear is there and is real for you. Because we are so used to us being a Failure that we automatically think we are one even if we just get a diagnosis. I will use my fav analogy for ADHD. Your Eyesight is not so good and you notice that others can see better and more effortlessly than you. So you go to a doctor and do some tests. The doctor tells you, hey you are short-sighted (diagnosis) here are the tools to compensate for this disadvantage, e.g., glasses (meds and therapy). Would you feel like a failure because your eyeball is shaped oddly? Why do you feel like a failure just because your frontal lope is oddly developed? (I know this analogy is overly simplified; please don’t crucify me)
But the advantage of ADHD over glasses, no one (except you and your doctors) need to know about it. You can share it only with the people you like. so auntie su doesn’t need to know and therefor cannot judge you at all.
And just because others are more open with their ADHD is no guarantee that they dont mask. My crazy thoughts are private thank you very much, but i can control how much i need to mask.
next for the meds part. again my analogy, why would you refuse glasses? of course it works without, but why do you want a handicap?
I did not (and still do not) have this magical experience with meds. Like I can finally see in HD etc. Never, mostly I don’t notice that I forget them (my coworker notices it and reminds me). I notice it in the evening because i was not productive and am in a darker mood. I struggle with taking my meds everyday for over 20 years! I have long acting so i only have to take 1 pill a day, still impossible. But the consequences when i dont take them over an extended period of time are so bad and lead straight down the depression rabbit hole. I have a long-term side effect now, I developed a tick. But better to have a random tick then being in the pit of my own head.
I am proud of you for getting help. Don’t let your head tell you, that you suck, because you are awsome!