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I think it’s insane that married people keep separate finances in the first place. I know lots of people do it, though.
But it’s unfathomable to me that you would be sharing a life, home, and child with someone and not even have financial transparency.
I’d be pushing very hard for total transparency.
Idk if I’m the right one to help here…
But don’t take a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Maybe the 101st job will come through. Maybe your new bff is going to appear tomorrow. Idk.
The thing I do know is that nothing is permanent. Good or bad. Except death. Options are spiraling out into the future in front of you and this, too, shall pass.
Appreciate your past self - they overcame a lot to get you here.
Forgive your current self - they’re doing their best in trying times.
And trust your future self to make the best of what times come next.