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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 30th, 2023

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  • First and foremost, open, honest communication is always the top priority if you’re trying to support someone through any complicated thing. Check in with her regularly to make sure she feels supported rather than pressured.

    Also, I think framing things as suggestions is probably the root of the concern here. I would back off of that.

    Learning and sharing what you’ve learned can be helpful. Suggesting a course of action, especially if you have not been asked to make a suggestion, can undermine her autonomy.

    The primary way trans people are attacked as they transition is having their autonomy questioned, undermined, and rejected. Usually this is from people who oppose their transition, but it is also entirely possible to encroach on her autonomy by telling her how you think she should transition.



  • Yeah, unless you’re particularly well equipped for that type of interaction, you’re unlikely to get any kind of satisfying outcome by asking them a question

    Those sorts of people have a lot of experience gish galloping, rationalizing their own contradictions, and feeling smug about whatever bullshit response they give.

    I don’t think their facade is impossible to engage with or break through, but it will always take more than one clever question to get there.








  • I love using magic items in place of house rules. It makes it easier for everyone when “house rules” are explicitly spelled out in an item description, and helps prevent players from being confused or surprised about which rules do and do not get enforced and in which way.

    To contribute my own D&D 5e specific example: I like to have enchanted weapons that each have access to one or two battlemaster maneuvers per short rest. e.g. Quarterstaff of Tripping (trip attack) or Commander’s Longsword (Commander’s Strike). To keep it simple, I use the weapon’s damage die as the superiority die.