Yeah, but how do I know that what you just wrote isn’t another conspiracy theory? I’m just so confused

I got hooked on that no shipping and Amazon Video for a short while, but I haven’t missed ordering from then in the last 8 or so months since I cancelled. As far as missing the video, yarr, avast ye hearties!

I wish that I had Chesse’s girl

I read PenisDuckCuck9001’s comment, and who can really argue with what PenisDuckCuck9001 is saying?

That’s what this cis dad is called. Or at least this is how all sentences start in this house.

Oh, I know.

“It takes more than that to kill a bull moose,” the wounded candidate assured them. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a bullet-riddled, 50-page speech. Holding up his prepared remarks, which had two big holes blown through each page, Roosevelt continued. “Fortunately I had my manuscript, so you see I was going to make a long speech, and there is a bullet—there is where the bullet went through—and it probably saved me from it going into my heart. The bullet is in me now, so I cannot make a very long speech, but I will try my best.”

To paraphrase Office Space:

Let me ask you something. Where you work, does anyone ever tell you to “think different?”

No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you’d get your ass kicked sayin’ something like that, man.

Shirt

Remove the water from the bottom of the ocean

Jordy, you lunkhead!

No W, then?

It even embiggens a kwyjibo like me!

(Sadly I am a fat North American ape, but not balding yet)

When did this happen???

I just read the “Christmas Message” from our CEO, I will paraphrase, “thanks God for sending your son Jesus to save us!” Wish I could quit.

Also you said tit Ook OOk OOK HOOHOO HAHOO!

And the worse my eyes get, the more fun reading becomes!

Couldn’t we just build a wall around him? Serves the same purpose, right?

Would never say that in public, he’s a private joker.

Dread Kitteh Roberts