Busy and focused on work. Every day I feel exhausted, I’m not going to bed early enough. 😪

Are you asking how housing discrimination happens?

There are more carbs than represented in that radar chart.

aw, that’s nice - I’ve heard good things about progesterone as well!

Yeah, I agree that it is time consuming and distracting. When I was able to do it, I was studying full-time so I could afford the time and effort.

These days I hardly look up any words (digitally or otherwise) 😭

this probably won’t help you, but just in case:

I went through a phase in my development where I had to look up a lot of words in the dictionary. There was a constant tension between wanting to stay with what I was reading and wanting to look up a word.

I got in the habit of keeping a pad of paper and a pencil nearby when reading, and I made it a habit to look up each word I wanted to know - I could either look it up later and keep reading, or I could look it up right then. After a while I got faster at navigating the alphabetic order of the dictionary and I could open the dictionary close to where the word would be. It was just a matter of practice.

Writing the word down was not just a deferral strategy, but also a way for me to memorize and appreciate the word I looked up - I put in effort to stop reading and look it up in a separate book, and when I first started I would keep forgetting the word and I had to look up words multiple times. Writing it down at first let me quickly refer back to recent words I was trying to learn or remember, but I noticed even just writing it at all made it more likely I wouldn’t forget in the first place (so my pad of paper wasn’t even all that necessary as a reference, though I could and sometimes did use it that way).

This is all much more effort than the digital approaches you are talking about, but it was a method that really helped me learn. I would say the learning phase was really intensive for a three to four month period, then it leveled out and I was looking up words less frequently and it was less necessary. It was especially helpful to study the etymology and learn Latin and Greek roots, which then helped me piece together the meaning of words without a dictionary (just from context and etymological guesses). For a while I even stopped carrying a dictionary, and instead carried a concise etymology dictionary, which let me learn the roots of the word and generally had much less about the definition (but gave me better access to the meaning and being able to memorize it).

I haven’t read him, but Brandon Sanderson has been mentioned to me more than once for his world-building. I’ve heard good things about Tress of the Emerald Sea, though I don’t know how world-buildy it is compared to his other books.

I agree, download and archive them.

of course!

Oh, I love that - greyscale as a warning.

For a while I had my whole phone on greyscale, but I don’t have trouble with spending time on my phone - it’s really the laptop that I have an issue with.

Maybe I should write software to conditionally greyscale my desktop/laptop screen!

Thanks for the link and details, so helpful!

for anyone who doesn’t have the time or want to watch the video, here’s a description:

Yeah, I like to get distracted and sucked into things, esp. on the computer. When I get that way I don’t get hungry or thirsty, I don’t realize I need to use the restroom, etc. - just completely ignoring the body (which is nice for me). I’m pretty sure it ruins my posture and creates muscular-skeletal problems, too.

Either way, interesting idea about listening to sounds or music - maybe that would increase enjoyment, but I worry it would reduce the usefulness of the resting (part of what I think helps is that I seclude my senses and I usually lie down in a quiet and dark place). Still, something to explore and see if it wouldn’t make it easier to motivate me to do it instead of rotting on the screen.

I agree about the styles on ThredUp, I had a hard time finding stuff I loved in my size. I need to go back to it, but I have some cognitive dissonance about shopping, so when I finally feel like doing it, I’m usually overdo and I end up shopping places like pact and Torrid.

You’re right about the shoes, btw - I don’t really know anywhere else to get shoes 😅

hey thanks!

One thing I have noticed is that I sometimes turn to this impulsive behavior when I feel really tired and I just need to rest, and I think of scrolling social media as an enjoyable kind of mental and physical break. So I’ve tried a few times to just set a timer on my phone and lay down and close my eyes for a bit instead, which makes me feel much more rested and works better as a break for my mind and body than scrolling social media.

However, this requires the awareness in the moment that the motivation for the social media impulsivity is that I’m tired and that I need a break, and I need the additional will-power to choose the better and admittedly less fun sounding alternative of actually resting - so as you can imagine establishing that new behavior has been a losing battle.

Anyway - I appreciate your positivity, thanks for your question and comments!!

What timer do you use, and does it lock access after a set time or does it just notify you when the alarm goes off?

EDIT: I found this app: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/mind-the-time/

It keeps track of how much time you spend on different websites (so not so much an intervention / reminder as a time tracker).

That is good advice, but I don’t have any apps and I don’t tend to spend much time on my phone. I find the mobile UI annoying, so it’s really desperation when I turn to a phone to browse a place like Reddit. Usually I do it when I have a burning question that I want to explore and I’m not otherwise able to use my desktop or laptop.

I’m trying to find a way to nudge myself away from this impulsivity on desktop, which the redirecting helped do. I keep thinking maybe I could write some javascript and use greasemonkey to load it and do what I need.

1. I prefer to feel in control, and when I notice impulsivity and difficulty stopping or changing the behavior, it’s a red flag for me
2. the amount of time spent is too much and I find it wasteful, the time could be better utilized, even if on a different down-time or recreational activity which leaves me feeling better or is more enriching
3. Lemmy / Reddit / whatever social media usually has some content that is useful or good in some way, but I would say most of the content I consume when engaging impulsively ends up not supporting my mental health (e.g. doomscrolling is a more common outcome from this impulsive behavior than, for example, engaging with community or other reasons that I seek these places in the first place).

Other addicts are exactly the people to ask.

You can re-use desiccant silica packs that are commonly used in retail & food packaging. You can dehydrate them by putting them in the oven. White rice can similarly be dried out in the oven and used as a desiccant.

Well, not having dysphoria when you look in the mirror is a major win.

A term like “dysphoria” is often amorphous, so I’ll try to clarify what I mean: when I look in the mirror I can’t see a woman or girl, even when other people claim to see a woman or a girl, and this makes me feel bad to varying degrees. I was so used to the way I looked that even though if you asked me I would say I don’t like the way I look, I wouldn’t have thought I hated it actively, I was just used to it.

Since realizing it’s not normal to never feel good at all about the way you look (in conjunction with a lot else, like a consistent and inexplicable preferences to cross-dress full time when at home), I realized I might be experiencing “dysphoria” and started to transition, and after between 3 - 5 months on hormones I could look at photos before transition and current photos after HRT and see that the post-transition photos were more “me” and also more feminine.

(TW: suicidal ideation)

Once I had this awareness that I might have dysphoria, it was like a floodgate opened, and seeing myself in the mirror went from a kind of accustomed indifference (like a background suffering I found easy to ignore) to a kind of crisis which made me feel suicidal and I would have to pragmatically avoid mirrors or looking or thinking about the way I looked.

I would say now I have less extreme dysphoria, and it seems like moustache and beard shadow are major triggers of feeling despair about the way I look, but there have been far more moments where I have felt good about the way I look as well.

Anyway, I can’t tell if my self perception will ever “click” into place and I won’t “undo” my gender when I look in the mirror (a bit like how my perception doesn’t seem to “undo” my gender when I see a fuzzy reflection of myself, e.g. in the microwave or my turned-off phone), but I have doubts that this will ever happen. I know it does for some people. I wonder if it would take FFS for me or not, but I worry even with FFS it will just be a small half-step closer, but not all the way. It seems like so many trans women I know about still feel this way about their face even after FFS, while others seem to report being able to just see themselves in the mirror and feel it’s entirely normal. It sounds like maybe you are in this latter case, someone who looks in the mirror and no longer experiences “dysphoria”?