Do couches eat candy?

Quit drinking that piss. Support your local microbrewery and stop sending your hard earned money overseas.

Name one system lord that would have any use for Ohio…

Steve French!

Poor little snowflake got his feelings hurt again?

Conky.

Peanut butter and jàaaaaaaaaaam!

Polls don’t vote vote. People do. Don’t believe everything corporate America tells you.

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Someone get the poop knife.

They may not be cannibals, but I wouldn’t put it past them to have devoured a number of souls…

I hope it happens, but with how bad spamazon messed up the expanse, I won’t hold my breath.

Coward. Chicken shit. Go home and cry to Ivanka about it you dumpy old orange snowflake baby. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries. Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.

Yes.

No sir, people just find you disgusting and plain old don’t like you.

Freddy Got Fingered. Absolute masterpiece.

That’s just his normal breakfast.

Alternative Headline: Union boss who sold out for power flip-flops after angering its paying members and realizing he will likely lose current position next union election cycle. This and more at 11…

Never said I agreed with it…

Alternative headline: Indigenous corporation takes a page from the Wall Street playbook to benefit tribe.