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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 12th, 2023

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  • I let out a long sigh.

    This has to be a joke. Something they tell the new guys to jerk them around. “Collect taxes from cryptids” my ass, this is straight up workplace hazing. They even sent Jim along to keep me company - he’s probably going to film this for the office christmas party or something. Well… I guess I may as well play along. “So, how am I supposed to contact Bigfoot? Just shout into the woods?”

    “Yes, actually. This is where we’ve found him the past few years, so he’s probably still living here. And he prefers ‘Mister Squatch.’” Jim’s advice doesn’t make this feel any less like a prank.

    “Mister Squatch? You have to be kidding me… EXCUSE ME? MISTER SQUATCH?” I bellow, “WE’VE BEEN SENT TO CONTACT YOU ON BEHALF OF THE IRS!” I can’t believe I’m out here making a complete fool of myself.

    And then it happens.

    A rustle in the bushes, followed by snapping twigs and shaking branches moving fast through the underbrush. Jim bends down and opens his briefcase - why? Why did he even bring a briefcase to the middle of the woods? Suddenly, the movement in the bushes stops as it reaches a clearing, and I see something massive race towards the trees on the far side. Suddenly, it stumbles, tripping and tumbling as it falls, wrapped in a net.

    A net? Where did a net come from in the middle of the woods? And then I see Jim’s empty briefcase, and the empty net gun in his hand. Laying in the middle of the clearing is the Bigfoot, and now I have to treat this like it’s normal and actually collect his taxes. Before I can even react, though, Jim is starting to untangle Bigfoot. “Look, Mister Squatch, I keep telling you, if you just pay your taxes, we won’t have to keep hunting you down like this. You know the drill, pay up or we’ll start telling the tabloids about where you live. You remember how annoying that was last time, right?”

    “Yeah…” Bigfoot talks!? I’m not even sure if I’m at work right now, or if the CIA guys in the next office over slipped LSD into our coffee again. “I still keep it in the cave by the creek, just take what I owe you and leave me alone.”

    “Glad we could settle this easily.” Jim cuts him free, and turns to me. “Let’s go get the money. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover… Our next stop is in West Virginia. Say, how do you feel about bridges?”

    I feel like I need a new job.




  • If you’re into hard sci-fi and you’re looking for a good read, they actually dropped a pretty good recommendation with that reference at the end - Larry Niven does a great job of blending real-world theories like Dyson spheres and advanced propulsion drives, with some of the more far-flung standards of the genre like an intra-planetary teleportation grid.



  • After the “kill two billion bugs” order got finished in a few hours, I was genuinely surprised to log in a couple of hours ago and find only a few percentage points on both planets… But that won’t last long, there were about 10x as many players on the airburst launcher planet as there were on the anti-tank mine planet.


  • I like the idea of having it as a ship upgrade, but even as a fairly new player, being able to see the lanes seems like it would be helpful in deciding what planets to drop on.

    Maybe that upgrade could sort of be a part of the tutorial? Like, you learn what samples are, pick up a few (maybe five-ish), and then the first time you open the ship upgrades, it walks you through buying your first module with the conveniently low-priced “Galactic Positioning System Premium Subscription” or something of that ilk. That way, it could sort of kill two birds with one stone, teaching newbies how to do ship upgrades while giving the map a bit more functionality.

    (Edited for grammar)





  • I feel like I would use it voluntarily if it put the sponsors in the “add a destination” menu. I tend to use Google maps for longer trips, and I try to add any stops on the way to my route so I don’t miss them - if I hit “add destination” and it offered, for example, Citgo stations, 7-11s, and Dunkin Donuts on my route, then I would probably get gas and snacks at sponsored locations almost every time.

    As it is, though… Well, just having a Dunks on the way to the laundromat doesn’t make me want to stop in and buy a coffee. Driving by ten of them “randomly” on my way to another state isn’t going to make me any more likely to stop at one.


  • Believe it or not, that’s actually what the complimentary branded matchbooks that smoke shops and strip clubs used to give away were meant to be!

    They weren’t an ad directed at you, though - they were an ad directed at your friends. You’d go hang out somewhere, set your cigarettes and matches down, and people would see the logo.


  • It really bugs me when people do stuff like that… I grew up in VT, where laws are lax, tons of people have guns, and nothing ever happens. Responsibly handled and in the hands of a stable person, guns can be pretty safe - but, if you remove either one of those things, they’re incredibly dangerous.

    In light of that, I wouldn’t mind if access were restricted somewhat. I’m totally fine with my neighbor having a rifle to kill varmints on their property, but way less fine with folks like my paranoid uncle having a safe full of assault rifles and thousands of rounds of ammo in a densely populated suburb.






  • Basically, yeah.

    Essentially, old folks have always taken up a good chunk of the housing market by having a bunch of small households (think two sets of grandparents vs a family of four). However, the baby boom was, well, a baby boom - as the boomers are aging, they’re taking up a lot more housing than the preceding generation did at their age, which is squeezing the market as younger folks try to buy houses.