No. Some positions have cabinet-level ranks (not press secretary) like chief of staff, but being on the cabinet itself requires being the head of one of the major administrative departments. Pretty much any of them can do significant damage with the wrong person installed.
“The Onion was the highest bidder[…]”
Literally the point of the suit is that The Onion was not the highest bidder. From the article:
The victims of Jones decided it was better to get less money and not allow the brand to go to one of his allies to continue the usual operations. They are saying that even though they effectively own the brand, that they don’t have the right to choose who it’s sold to.
There is only one way this should go, but…