I wanted to share with you what my therapist told me. I was doing the same thing after my child was born. I kept having these terrible thoughts like “what if I trip and drop her and kill her? What if I wake up and she’s not breathing in the morning?” What my therapist told me is that I had to stop thinking about the what if’s. She said that every time I realized I was thinking about those I had to stop and tell myself to stop.

The brain likes to nonstop think and if you start to think about those irrational thoughts all the time it starts to default to those. What she reminded me of something I really read in a Tibetan monk’s book. He talked about how the brain has a primitive side that is like a monkey that just chitters constantly. You have to learn to quiet it sometimes.

So every time you have these what if thoughts, stop and breathe, and tell yourself that “these are thoughts of scenarios that aren’t real and the chances of them happening might be slim.” Yeah, there is a chance they could happen, but you are capable and you will handle them if it comes to that. But most likely, they won’t happen. And you need to change something because these thoughts are not useful or helpful to you.

Something to go along with this, some people will have a “magic word” or gesture they do that goes along with this. When they realize they are thinking these thoughts they will say “banana” or something or snap their fingers. Whatever they use, it signals their brain to immediately stop thinking that way and move on. I tend to say “I don’t give a shit!” when I start thinking like that.

I know it’s tempting to think “but it’s still possible they will happen, if I prepare then maybe I can stop it.” But it’s not worth worrying about all the time. I have life insurance so my family is covered if I pass. I wear tennis shoes when I carry my daughter when we go out the front door. I keep the floor clean so I don’t trip. I do things that can actually make a difference. Worrying about those things constantly won’t.

I hope you find some peace with this. Anxiety is a bitch. I know this thing my therapist told me to do didn’t fix everything, but it helped immensely. It’s one step in the right direction, one step towards progress, and mental health is one of those things you need to combat one little step at a time.

K

A lot of viruses and other malware will disguise themselves as legitimate processes. Download malwarebytes and run it to see if it picks up anything.

Feeding deer is illegal in some places. In Pennsylvania it’s illegal because of the wasting disease that is going through the population. You’d be doing the deer a favor if you called the game warden and reported if it is illegal in your area.

“I’m Mr Meeseeks, look at me!”

E

Secondsale.com has treated me well

Sammich

Damn, that’s a good one.

P

A

The problem is that with all of these efforts to take houses to pay for the card, it only covers 1% of the cost. Is it really worth it at that point? Is it worth it to take homes that could benefit families who could otherwise not be able to obtain a home?

I’ve been sexually harassed so much online that I never correct people when they misgender me on any sort of party chat, especially with video games. I chose an ambiguous username, talk like a bro, have and naturally have deeper voice which only tends to get deeper on the mic. It’s actually really nice to be able to just play video games and be a human being.

I also put on corporate speak mask when I’m at work. Some days I let it slip and always regret it.

I loved my projector! I found it on ebay for a steal apparently because when I went to find my next one I couldn’t find the same quality for a reasonable price range I could afford at the time. When this TV blows up I’ll probably look at a projector again.

Babysitting in a hotel while a family member gets medical treatment. I’m hoping to go home Sunday

Not so much a traditional instrument, but I would love to learn how to make music through software like Sony acid pro. I had a friend once who did it and he did some really great stuff.

Absolutely. I second the heavy use of blocking communities using an app. If you still want exposure to news you can consider downloading a couple news apps and checking them once or twice a day. You will still see the shittier aspects of humanity but at least you can do it when you choose to.

R

Flying, stinging insects. I hate it when I suddenly hear the buzzing next to my ear. They can move faster than me and there is nothing I can do against them other than try to dodge them.

I found out my best friend of 20 years turned into a lesbian. Explained a lot of her behavior towards me in retrospect. I had cut ties with her because she turned into a bitch and I was done with the abuse.

I used find myself really wanting to get in touch with her again because she was like a sister, but I finally realized that I missed the person she was when we grew up and that she was a different person now. That person I was best friends with is long gone.