Fun fact, this is why I got laid so much in Mexico. I took so much straight dong on that trip I should have gotten frequent fliers miles

I’ve mentioned it on here before, I think. It’s one of my favorite stories. The look on his face was absolutely horrific and hilarious. I asked him several times afterwards how his pregnant sinuses were. He did not find it as funny as I did.

But not from Tennessee.

I love telling this story, but I’ll warn beforehand it’s explicit.

! so, one time I was getting a blow job from this dude who was sort of newly out as bi curious. So, he asked if he could suck me off because he’d never done it before. Anyway, when I came, he didn’t pull off and decided he was going to swallow, and since he was still really new and nervous, I thought it would be hilarious if I said “no homo” when I came.

Unfortunately, he also thought that was hilarious, and laughed while swallowing. Ever seen milk come out of a kids nose in the cafeteria? That. But with spunk !<

We all know the answer to this. Alfred keeps a large supply of BatCoke for him in the Bat Cave

Your brain is a confusingly, terrifying, beautiful place and I’m glad you just give out front row access like this.

I once had a conversation with a cashier in TN that started with a newspaper by check out saying something about remembrance day in England. I explained it’s basically like their version of Memorial Day. It ended with me having to explain what Europe is. A super abridged synopsis:

Me: It’s basically their version of Memorial Day.

Her: why do they need a different version?

Me: they’re a different country, different laws.

Her: it’s not really a different country if you can drive to it

Me:… What

Her: I mean, it’s basically just the same country

Me: you cannot drive to England.

Her: you can’t?

Me: it’s an island.

Her: I thought it was Europe?

Me: you also cannot drive to Europe.

I then had to explain what Europe was, how England is Europe in the same way Puerto Rico is North America. I shouldn’t have included that. Or tried to explain armistice day. It was a very long conversation that ended up going outside during her smoke break.

She was the second grown adult I had to explain Europe to. Tennessee has failed it’s children, y’all. I’m not being funny, and contrary to OP’s premise, I don’t really judge them for this. I judge the state and the school system. It’s bad.

Hey, sorry I haven’t replied. I switched to a different account (@dharmacurious@slrpnk.net) and haven’t checked this one.

I’ve been doing a lot of sewing. Mainly dog toys and pillows for making life a little more comfy :)

Me. I would love to be a third shift librarian.

Generally, you should use a cloth tape measure to measure dick. There are instructions online if you look.

Also, 8 inches to the hilt is often not pleasant, so work with your partner and learn how deep your sigmoid colon is, and take it slow. Big ol’ dick slamming into a wall is not fun unless you are very particularly into it.

Thanks! That dust on the floor I’m guessing is basically poison, lye and the ashes from other offerings. That’s wild.

Is there a verse specific to when life begins? I’ve read that it’s upon drawing breath, but that’s the part I haven’t been able to find.

I imagine it was probably larger before it was… Dried out.

Also, 8 inches by 2 inches is pretty fucking large. I say this as someone who has had 8 inches back there.

Link?

Ooh, you don’t happen to know a verse for this, do you? I’ve heard this before and tried to Google it, but my Google fu is lacking and I just end up finding right wing nut job websites.

When you say export, is there a tool for that for, like, mass exporting your subs? Or do I have to manually search each one and sub again?

I ask because I’ve been meaning to switch to my alt, but I made a point of subbing to as many communities as possible to make Lemmy more fun to use for me, and good lord, it’s a lot to do.

You can probably search for security jobs on job boards, or ask anyone wearing a shitty guard uniform if they’re hiring. If it’s the same there, they’re always hiring.

… Well. This is why you don’t open Lemmy at 3am. A hard lesson to learn. Especially at 3am.

Imagine if it just gets a leak in the head and you don’t realize. Queef/fart from hell afterwards.

Which one do we get the eyes from?

Don’t forget the discrimination and frequent unreported assaults on queer folks and people of color!

Tennessee: The volunteer (to give up any reasonable expectation at a decent quality of life) state!