How could our beloved leader engage in war crimes if we do not see war as a crime?

Checkmate, Westerners.

Our citizens pay taxes out of pure love and devotion to our Dear Leader. We don’t have room for your silly Western moralities.

This is fake Western news.

The lights illuminating the statues of our Dear Leader shine 24 hours a day.

People view North Korea with contempt? Who would do such a thing?

No, seriously, we’d love to know so we can send them to a reeducation camp change their mind.

Trains do not derail in North Korea. It is forbidden.

No

Those are photoshopped images from untrustworthy western media; do not trust them. Homes in North Korea shine as bright as our love for our esteemed leader.

Not true. North Korean IT workers are the best in the world and are highly respected. They would never pretend to be silly American workers; they are far too busy working for our nation’s blooming IT industry.

1800s? Public executions are a treasured pastime in my country.