I’m still pretty early on in my HRT journey at just under 5 weeks of estradiol IM injections and Spironolactone.
One thing that I kind of was expecting but still took me by surprise was the depth of my emotions increasing.
I kept reading about “a larger range of emotional responses” but feeling it is a whole new world! I feel like my emotions have so much more texture and nuance that I pick up on. I can feel them shift from sadness to anger to determination to whatever so quickly and so intuitively.
Before I started E, the best way I can describe how my emotional state behaved was like these blurry blobs of feelings that were difficult to distinguish or identify. Everything swirled around me without me being able to fully experience them. Now they are a part of me and I would never go back ❤️
Could you expand on that? In what way(s) did it change?
Amab enby here, taking E but no anti-androgen. The changes were noticable in the first week, but I don’t have the words… they should have sent a poet. XD
Like, how does one even describe girlsmell? I’ve always appreciated natural body odors in that all-too-brief period between the fading scent of their last shower and the sour tang of going too long without, but language never seems to do justice to something so fundamental…
Anyways, I caught the first hint of changes to my scent within a few days of starting on E. There was just enough girlsmell on me to trigger a memory of one of my partners and I took note of it immediately. That new part of my scent picked up while my boysmell gradually toned down over the next couple of months, though it is still present 'cause of the lack of anti-androgens. So I’ve ended up with a mix of both that I’ve decided to call enbysmell. I’ve also found that my body odor doesn’t build up as quickly as it used to, absent exercise.
I am so curious about enbysmell!
I am AFAB and considering really low dose t. I have very, very (weirdly) little body smell and I can hardly stand scented deodorant, I’m wondering if it’ll freak me out.
I wish I had some way to share it over the internet. XD
Me too!
You can take E without anti-androgens? I thought E always had to be paired with some sort of T-blocker. How has your body and mind responded to it so far?
I’m asking mainly because I really want to have more feminine features, but there are still some masc features I want to keep that taking T-blockers would get rid of (my functionality down there, for example). So the thought of going on HRT makes me apprehensive. But if I could keep them, I would feel a lot more comfortable moving forward.
This also has me wondering if I’m trans or more likely enby/genderfluid.
Yeah! Estradiol Monotherapy was actually the original form of feminizing HRT before they realized that binary trans women need an anti-androgen to reduce testosterone levels.
I’m also taking Finasteride, which blocks the effects of testosterone on hair follicles, and between the two medications I’m getting almost all the androgynizing effects I want with very few downsides~
The physical effects have been wonderful, my skin is soft now, I’m almost up to an A-cup, and my body odor has changed to the point that I can’t tell my sex by scent alone. My sexual functionality is mostly unimpeded, though it does take a little longer to develop an erection and I’m sure my sperm count is abysmal. My hair has stopped falling out from the androgenic alopecia, and my body hair is growing in slower and more fine. And aside from a tiny degree of thinning, my villainous moustache is unaffected!
For the mental effects, I’m much more in-tune with my emotions and my libido is less insistent but still as strong as ever. It’s more subtle than I was expecting, most likely because I still have testosterone levels in the low end of typical male normality. Feminine orgasms weren’t new to me, I learned how to cum like a girl before I started my transition, but they’re easier to reach and can be much more intense now.
Please do ask if you’re curious about anything! Amab enbies who seek a hormonal transition are the rarest category of trans people but we do exist!
I’m curious as to when this changed for you. At 4 months in I haven’t felt much difference, though there’s been less… let’s say, volume.
I’m afraid I don’t have a solid answer there 'cuz it was a very gradual shift, but it first became noticable around six or eight weeks. Around the same time I noticed semen production declining.
Male orgasms haven’t changed much at all, they feel much the same as they used to. Female orgasms are quite different, and it’s entirely possible that you’ve experienced one without identifying it as such. They’re more diffuse and radiate outwards from your core rather than being focused in the genitals.
ooh that’s a good point, maybe I’ve been thinking about this the wrong way. Thank you!
Of course! Feel free to ask me anything! 😄
Thank you for replying!
Have you noticed much change in your upper body strength? Or have your current T levels helped keep it up? I’ve never been that strong, even with testosterone helping me, so the thought of being even physically weaker had me a bit nervous. I know I can workout to mitigate that, but that isn’t always feasible to do. How long have you been taking them so far? I’m also taking finasteride for my hair, but I’ve been on it for almost 18 months. My hair is still shedding a bit, but I can see regrowth starting.
Those androgynizing effects sound really appealing. Those would give me the big happy.
As for sexual functionality, that doesn’t sound too bad. Now that I think about it, I remember reading in another post someone suggested topical T-gel to apply down there. I believe trans men (and even some cis women) use it go develop theirs. So it makes sense that AMAB’s could use it to maintain functionality. I’ll have to dig into that.
Those mental effects also sound awesome. I’ve always struggled with interpreting my emotions and maybe this is why.
Lady-O’s are definitely something I’ve been trying to achieve but I’ve never been successful. Maybe going on E will be the ticket?
No problem! I’m happy to share my experience for anyone that might find it helpful. 😄
It’s been about 7.5 months so far, I started 2mg sublingual E and 5mg finasteride at the same time and added 100mg progesterone at 3 months. I also avoided building up my upper body before starting hormone therapy and have noticed a small decline in my upper body strength as my arms have gotten a bit slimmer. It’s not debilitating by any means because I have a desk job, and I’m trying to get in the habit of working out to make up for it, but I’m only seeing a gym every week or two. XD
As for the hair, I don’t think I’ve entirely stopped shedding yet but the rate has dropped significantly. The new follicles are smoother too, but I haven’t seen any regrowth yet.
I haven’t looked into topical T-gel, but do follow up to let us know if you try it. I’d be curious to hear of the effects even though I don’t think they’re necessary for me. _
Can’t say if the E would help with your Lady-Os, but it sure did for me! Another thing I didn’t mention was the amazing gender euphoria I got on day 1. E definitely vibes with me but if it isn’t right for you then you’ll know it long before any muscular effects become noticable.
All of this makes me feel a lot more comfortable with the idea of starting E. Even a little excited.
I have to move to a more welcoming place first, but I’m hoping to do that by this summer. When I do, I’ll look for a therapist and doctor who can help me get started.
I know how you feel! I wasn’t confident to start before I got out of Texas myself.