YouTube is my vice. I spend hours and hours and hours there watching videos every single day. I’ve recently however starting to resent the fact that apparently I seem to prefer watching other people do stuff rather than do that myself. Watching interesting videos feels like a leisure but doing interesting stuff has somehow in my mind turned into work.
Just few days ago I watched a Casey Neistat studio tour and I caught myself thinking how nice it would be to have a neatly organized space like that for making stuff. Well I have a space like that! I’m just never there because instead I’m in the house watching YouTube. I hate that. When I was younger I took apart solar lanterns to build a solar battery charger, I made a camera gimball stabilizer out of threaded rod, angle irons and plumbing pipe, I build a functioning submarine out of legos. Now I can’t even remember when I last time build something just for fun.
While watching youtube is “fun” aswell however it’s not memorable. I still remember my lego submarine from 20 years ago but I don’t remember a single video I watched yesterday. I’m worried that if I keep doing this I’m basically just throwing my life away. There’s always going to be another video to watch. I will never finish that project.
I guess I’m just venting. I’m sure there are people that can relate however. How do you guys deal with this?
What’s stopping you to do something interesting?
Nothing really. I can still find pleasure in doing those things but it’s starting that’s diffucult. Opening my laptop and watching youtube is effortless. I guess it’s also kind of an escape from all the things that cause me anxiety.