And that’s really the point, you don’t add meaning to your life because you have a kid. You add meaning to your life by helping others. Some people do that with their kids while my husband and I choose to do that with friends and family. I’m happy with being child free and I’m happy for those people who find meaning in raising their kids. It’s not an either/or situation.
I will preface by saying that having kids is hard, and today more than ever, it is not necessary to have kids.
But mentoring and bonding with someone else’s kid is not the same thing as having your own kid, by a mile. I’ve done both, and having your own kid is a unique feeling.
The nice thing though is that if you don’t have kids, you don’t know what it’s like. So you don’t miss anything because you’ve never had that feeling.
So when you hear people like me that it’s the best feeling in the world, you don’t have that experience. So for you, it’s not true.
That’s so well said. I think a lot of people don’t even realize how much we need other people to be happy with ourselves, by ourselves. We need connection and some voluntary dependence to be able to see and understand ourselves. Having a kid is one way but it is not the only way to realize this or to achieve this. It is probably the most straightforward one that just “happens” to a lot of people passively. To find meaning in helping other people that are not your family one has to actively seek this out. And maybe there is even something about having to actively seek this versus having this happen to you.
And that’s really the point, you don’t add meaning to your life because you have a kid. You add meaning to your life by helping others. Some people do that with their kids while my husband and I choose to do that with friends and family. I’m happy with being child free and I’m happy for those people who find meaning in raising their kids. It’s not an either/or situation.
I will preface by saying that having kids is hard, and today more than ever, it is not necessary to have kids.
But mentoring and bonding with someone else’s kid is not the same thing as having your own kid, by a mile. I’ve done both, and having your own kid is a unique feeling.
The nice thing though is that if you don’t have kids, you don’t know what it’s like. So you don’t miss anything because you’ve never had that feeling.
So when you hear people like me that it’s the best feeling in the world, you don’t have that experience. So for you, it’s not true.
That’s so well said. I think a lot of people don’t even realize how much we need other people to be happy with ourselves, by ourselves. We need connection and some voluntary dependence to be able to see and understand ourselves. Having a kid is one way but it is not the only way to realize this or to achieve this. It is probably the most straightforward one that just “happens” to a lot of people passively. To find meaning in helping other people that are not your family one has to actively seek this out. And maybe there is even something about having to actively seek this versus having this happen to you.