99% of my ideas for what to do with friends have to do with “we hang, but at a bar”.
I’ve started to consider suggesting aquarium trips, outdoor movie nights, etc, but then I decided it might be nice to chit chat about it with y’all because I wanna hear what y’all like. Especially things you didn’t expect to be as pleasant as they were but became a regular thing.
When it’s not cold or otherwise gross out, hanging out in the park is nice. Tell people to bring a snack and hang out.
You can also go get food as a group. There are cheap places.
We don’t have enough “third places” in the US , maybe other parts of the world. Too much anti social rugged individualism I guess.
I think aquariums tips, outdoor movies night, etc. sound like fun ideas. But one thing to keep in mind is how much of an “event” a hangout might be, and whether that might turn some people off.
It’s like the difference between planning for a beach trip with friends versus just taking a spontaneous dip in the pool with your friends on a hot day: one feels more effortful than the other. And the beach trip, or planned events, might be the more fun choice. But after a long week, etc. a lot of people just want to do something social but more chill and effortless. Just being able to enjoy the moment with their friends. Which might be part of the reason why bars are really attractive for that kind of thing. You just go out, grab a drink, chill with your buds, and go home to relax. No real structure, more just down time.
Again, not dismissing those ideas. Definitely good in moderation. But just chatting with a friend over lunch/dinner, at a cafe. Hang out at the park at the end of the day. Things of that nature and effort should also be important. Even if it feels small, it can be the nicest part of friendships.
Boardgame bar ? Usually more fitted for discussion than usual bars
Axe throwing
There’s a place nearby that does that! It’s next to a comic book shop and Japanese grocery store. I remember their sign saying it’s only $15 for 30 minutes of axe throwing. Sounds like an awesome idea.
Walking and hiking are great healthy ways to have group chats. I can’t tell you how many hundreds of hours I’ve spent having good conversations while out and about. Rain and heavy wind is about the only thing that gets in the way of it. Works really great at night on a full moon too. Bonus if your friends really want to drink: walk and drink. Take a camera, coffee, a dog, a skateboard, binoculars, a radio scanner, a pwnagotchi, a flipper zero, Pokémon Go, an rc car, a drone, a map of little free libraries, a map of geocaches, etc., and you can always find little activities to do while you walk and talk. I’ve found soooo many cool hidden spots this way.
But yeah, only going to a bar sounds like a lot of potential fun is missing.
What’s your age? Me and my friends used to have that mindset when we were around 20. Things naturally changed from there.
The thing is that my partner and I have gone sober recently, and since I’m specifically thinking of this from the perspective of “I want to avoid alcohol”, it’s causing me to have a bit of a “don’t think about the polar bear” moment.
We’ve also begun opening our circle up a bit, and while I’m perfectly comfortable having good friends come over for whatever, it feels too intimate to invite folks you barely know over.
Escape rooms and VR experiences
TopGolf? Food + drinks + grown up putt-putt. Concerts, if you have the same music tastes? Pick-up sports? Take up instruments. Jam. Get Really Good. Form a band. Go on tour. DND? LAN party? I don’t really have friends, but I imagine we’d do all of these things.
Top Golf, concerts, and sports is how I met each band member. Then, we started a DND streaming show; it’s a cute way to interact with the fans some more. We start doing Baldur’s Gate 3 LAN parties for our top subscribers.
Follow this path to victory.
Also, I can be your pen pal if you want friends.
Most of the bars I’ve been to are really loud and it’s almost impossible to hear anyone talking to me, so I just invite my friends to my apartment. I spend less on alcohol that way too…
If I want to hang out while doing something, I suggest going to a restaurant because that’s an experience I can’t replicate at home. (I don’t cook very well.)
One problem that I forgot to mention is that I am a male who works with and meets a lot of women. I also tend to mesh better with women than men. However, even though I’m non-binary, if I meet a new person who is a woman, it feels a little too something-or-other to invite them into my home when we still don’t know each other that well. Bars are a neutral, public, casual space.
It’s less weird if you have a group of people over, as long as everyone knows it’s a group thing. That’s my default (I find bars too loud for conversation)–board/party games and drinks are a great combo.
