Almost all my life I’ve absolutely despised children. Pretty much from the moment I stopped being a child I’ve hated being around children.
It doesn’t even matter what the child is doing. Whether they’re laughing and having fun or screaming and throwing a tantrum. The sound of a child being loud activates an almost primal rage that I can barely contain.
I’ve had to leave social gatherings/restaurants/grocery stores all because if I’d stayed I’d have made a complete ass of myself by screaming at a child just for existing.
It’s even worse with infants which makes me feel horrible because I know they can’t help it. I know the kids don’t know any better and it’s our job as adults to get them through childhood, but my blood boils when they get loud or demand attention.
Has anyone else dealt with something like this? Is there anything I can do to stop from getting so angry?
I remember feeling the same way as you, I definitely “hated children” for a long time. They are noisy and sticky and almost always badly behaved and their parents are idiots. But at some point I realized that this is just the nature of children, and it’s complete and utter folly to hate things for their own nature. Will you just wake up every morning, look up, and go: “Ughhh, blue again???!!!” So you accept things as they are and you practice a little self control, because kids are emotional creatures and they will forget your words but never forget how you made them feel for their entire lives on a day when they were excited about something and an adult they trusted made them feel afraid.
At some point, i did what you said and stopped judging the kid for how they are. It was mostly from the sadness of knowing the world they will have to explore, as adults, a world that will be extremely competitive and aggressive. I wanted to shield them from it all and make them live a stable, happy life. At least until they start becoming more independent. Eventually, we all have to let them live their own life.