So I’m basically new to the fediverse. I’m not good at introductions because I forget all the “identities” I have. Well, I am FTM trans and a MAP (non-exclusive).
So I am having this obsession, it’s sexual but it also feels like these other feelings of entitlement. Basically I am obsessed with little boys taints. Or basically the area from backsack to up the buttcrack. And I have too much of a want to see that for real. Maybe it has to do with that area being pretty hidden naturally without specific posing. No, I haven’t actually seen that stuff. I’m sure it’s not actually that groundbreaking. I feel ridiculous being obsessed with something so mundane and “gross.” This obsession is also stopping me from having sexual feelings if I want to because I think I have sexual orientation OCD and everything I look at I just think “but what if it was a little boy taint instead?” And the motivation is more OCD feeling than sexual attraction feeling.
I think the weird entitlement also has to do with my own socialization about my own anatomy and how it’s seen. I could see all the cultural references to girls’ butts being sexualized while also seeing jokes about it being gross and hearing about how anal sex was just painful. While at the same time boy butts are just considered funny, gross, or embarrassing.
So I think I am mad that I had to hear all these ideas of girl butts being a sexual object for guys and totally unpleasurable for the girls but I never had any hint of the opposite. I was really unaware of my own feelings as a kid because I was always told my feelings would be something else so maybe I just assumed I would grow out of my real feelings or something so I waited it out and now I’m mad that I “missed my chance” to do certain things as a kid.
Maybe it also has to do with me wanting do explore doing anal stuff myself but my old conditioning has usually made me avoid that area on myself because I heard that it’s “just painful” and “only the guy enjoys it.”
Does anyone have any ideas for how to deal with feelings like this?
🐾Welcome! Mei and I oppressed our sexuality for a long time too. We’ve played with our body since we were very small and always found anal things pleasurable even if we didn’t have all the facts. Hopefully one day we’ll live in a world when you can look at all the little boy taint you want, but for now there’s plenty of lovely shota art and solidarity to find :3 boy butts are just as valid as girl butts!
Thanks! :3 Yeah I do think the rules in this world are pretty weird. But mostly I just apply all the hate to myself for who I am and also obsess over what I’ve experienced or I haven’t. I have been a cub artist for a while and was looking for a place to draw shota and this obsession has also been getting in the way of me making my art as well as some stuff like baraag being a process to apply to means I had a lot of time to overthink things. I almost think my obsession is philosophical and spiritual since hey, the taint is the root chakra. X3
💗You could also apply to oddballs.online! It’s catered to propara artists :3
Hello and welcome.
Ok so when you do anal for the first time it can be pretty painful. It’s important to prepare, not go to big or too fast at first, but the area can absolutely be immensely pleasurable.
Fun story, I’ve had a cis guy try to tell me once that people without prostates (no, he didn’t use that phrasing) couldn’t enjoy anal because they lacked prostates. Which is absolutely false. You don’t need a prostate to enjoy anal.
