We’re both in our 40s now with my sister being 4 yrs younger.
I recently went to a therapy thing that dug up allot of the past. This made me reach out to her to see if it was as bad as I remembered.
Turns out it was way worse with her having a similar journey just before me. We sat in the pub drinking coffee and chatting for 5 hours.
During that conversation we realises thar even to this day our parents were manipulating us to keep is distant.
The worst manipulation was when our kids were young we had a silly argument over you forgot to get my kid a present for a birthday (we hadn’t just not gotten it to a mutual drop off point with it. Usually my dads) pater that yr my youngest landed in hospital forest of the year. Thought she was going tondie levels of terrified.
They manipulate her with that stupid argument to make her terrified to visit. She did phone the hospital for updates but avoided talking to us while my parents made comments to me about her not being interested.
I don’t think we will ever be close but we are in a way better place and now know the shit our parents are pulling to better avoid the traps.
Me and my siblings have a similar situation. Always talk directly, never through your parents. Always verify what they tell you. Always meet up at a neutral place, no visiting parents on their “terf”. They are a guest at your place, it makes a world of difference. :)
Very distant
We’re both in our 40s now with my sister being 4 yrs younger.
I recently went to a therapy thing that dug up allot of the past. This made me reach out to her to see if it was as bad as I remembered.
Turns out it was way worse with her having a similar journey just before me. We sat in the pub drinking coffee and chatting for 5 hours.
During that conversation we realises thar even to this day our parents were manipulating us to keep is distant.
The worst manipulation was when our kids were young we had a silly argument over you forgot to get my kid a present for a birthday (we hadn’t just not gotten it to a mutual drop off point with it. Usually my dads) pater that yr my youngest landed in hospital forest of the year. Thought she was going tondie levels of terrified.
They manipulate her with that stupid argument to make her terrified to visit. She did phone the hospital for updates but avoided talking to us while my parents made comments to me about her not being interested.
I don’t think we will ever be close but we are in a way better place and now know the shit our parents are pulling to better avoid the traps.
Stay together strong! 💪 You both made a great first step, you will not regret it.
There was no grand falling out or anything. Our paths just diverged as we got older. However I do fins myself wondering how much of that was natural
Me and my siblings have a similar situation. Always talk directly, never through your parents. Always verify what they tell you. Always meet up at a neutral place, no visiting parents on their “terf”. They are a guest at your place, it makes a world of difference. :)