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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/nameless-toothbrush on 2023-07-19 07:44:44.

I (25f) have been best friends with Jane (27) since I was 13. Our moms were close and even after they eventually gravitated apart Jane and I still remained best friends until last week.

I’ve always been “big boned”, since childhood I was the funny friend that lightened the mood with humor and positivity. And truthfully, none of my friends ever commented on my weight ever, even Jane. She usually made sure I was comfortable without ever explicitly pointing it out and during my insecure teen years I really appreciated that. Now that I’ve gotten older I’ve learned to love who I am and I feel comfortable in my body.

Since we were teens we always planned our weddings, talked about being each others bridesmaids, shared Pinterest boards… the whole deal… and that continued until we hit our early twenties. In fact, she asked me to be a bridesmaid as soon as she got engaged with a cute care package. However last week after I sent her my measurements for our dresses (she’s having them custom made) she called me and said that b/c of costs she was cutting down the number of her bridesmaids to just her sisters. Which I totally understood! A couple days later, our mutual friend Liz sent me her final pick for her dress and asked me which color I had chosen. Confused I told her we had been dropped from the wedding party for not being immediate family, I called her because she is that one friend that responds to texts 2 weeks later and I assumed she just never saw Jane’s message. Liz immediately started up the group chat to confirm that we had been dropped and that’s when I got a private message from Jane saying that she had only dropped me because she didn’t think “the style she chose for everyone suited me” and the cost of materials would be “too much”.

This is where I might genuinely be the a-hole. I told her that if she was too ashamed to have a fat brides maid in a strapless dress then she should just tell me instead of lie to me and I thought that over a decade of friendship transcended that vanity. That night I put no on my rsvp and sent it to her.

Now she’s calling and texting me telling me I misunderstood her and I’m blowing up for no reason and to just come to the wedding as a guest. Am I the a-hole?