I was in denial about being a MAP until rather recently, maybe a month ago or so. Before then I would consume lolicon content but I told myself that I wasn’t attracted to irl kids. This was not true at all, but I managed to stay in denial about it for years.

For most of my life I always made a conscious effort to avert my eyes whenever I saw a young girl. I was afraid to look at them I think, because I would have had to confront the fact that I am attracted to prepubescent girls. I had gotten used to doing this, but one day a MAP friend I had been talking to online recommended I try looking at a girl. He reassured me that simply looking and even having sexual thoughts wasn’t immoral, which really helped encourage me to actually look at a young girl in real life. At this point I more or less knew I was a map, but making an effort to actually look at a girl was what I needed to confirm it in a way that I couldn’t deny.

I’d love to hear about others’ experiences with accepting that they’re a MAP!

  • Phossu@burggit.moeOP
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    11 months ago

    I also had the idea that as I aged the people in my fantasies were “supposed” to age up as well. I remember specifically thinking “it’s not pedophilic if I’m close in age”. I used that line of reasoning to stay in denial about my minor attraction when I was young. The fact that I’m also attracted to adults only made it harder for me to recognize that I really am attracted to minors.