And have you even thanked the President yet?
All the time.
Thanks Obama.
I will keep clicking on articles about eggs to show news organizations that eggs are what gets clicks.
I’m scrolling to the bottom with ad blocker disabled. That ought to boost the metrics a scosh.
Eggs.
Eggs.
Eggs.
If I keep posting this every time there are egg related political news stories, maybe it’ll come true?
I put together a little short story about how I would like to see Donald Trump meet his demise. Drowning in eggs:
The Eggsecution.
The once-proud leader, now stripped of title and dignity, stands in the center of the barren, concrete abyss. The abandoned Olympic swimming pool—thirty feet deep, dry as bone—has become their final stage. Above, the gathered masses stretch in every direction, a writhing sea of anticipation.
They do not jeer. They do not boo.
They simply chant.
“Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.”
It starts as a murmur, a low thrum of human voices vibrating in unison. Then it grows, swelling into a deafening roar that rattles windows, that shudders in the bones of every person present. A chant as ancient as it is absurd, a single-minded invocation of punishment.
The first egg arcs high overhead, tracing a lazy curve before splattering against the fallen leader’s shoulder. The yolk bursts, oozing down his baggy, ugly, now-useless suit. A streak of yellow, the first of many.
Another egg. Then another.
Then dozens.
The first impacts make them flinch, stagger—hands raised in a futile shield. But soon there are too many to dodge, too many to deflect. They curl inward as the sky rains viscous judgment. The chant never stops.
“Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.”
Shells crack. Yolk drips. The scent of sulfur and shame thickens in the stagnant air. It coats their skin, their hair, their pride, turning them into something less than human. Something… egg-like.
At the top of the pit, a child—no older than seven—steps forward. They hold their egg with both hands, cradling it like something precious. Reverent. With a deliberate motion, they lob it downward. It strikes the leader square on the forehead, exploding with an almost musical plap. The crowd erupts into a fresh crescendo of cheers, but the chant never falters.
“Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.”
No escape. No reprieve. The pit is smooth concrete, slick now with raw egg and humiliation. They can do nothing but stand there, endure, become part of the ritual.
Somewhere in the throng, a vendor hawks boiled eggs. Another sells cartons to the unprepared. A man in a chicken suit waves encouragingly at the crowd.
The night wears on, but the spectacle does not end.
It cannot end.
Not until the last egg is thrown. Not until the last voice is hoarse.
Not until the world is rid of this one, failed leader, broken not by swords or exile, but by the inescapable weight of public yolk and scorn.
“Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.”
Oh my God, you post this shit every time there’s an egg-related political news story.
I keep posting this every time there are egg related political news stories
A promise well kept. If it does come true, I’ll sing your name to future generations as the one who put egg on the faces of Nazis
Eggs.
Eggs.
Eggs.
That would be a very expensive execution now, would it?
I thought Trump said during his car sales pitch that egg prices were down. I can’t believe he lied! s/
Trump did that.
We just need to ban trans people harder. We’re just 85% there. We need a few more executive orders and then egg prices will come down.
/s (but only in that Republicans actually believe this)
I’m a little behind on talking points, are we blaming this one on Biden, George Soros, or the Radical Left Chicken Cabal?
Apparently, Barack Obama is to blame.
Lol.
It’s a lot easier and practical to just blame rich people. They are the fuck bags who do shit like this.
I heard we are back to buttery email
American wanted cheap eggs, got fascism instead. 🤡
in 2020, basic eggs at Aldi were 0.95$
Now that is ironic since how much MAGA went on about the egg prices under Biden.
Will Easter eggs also be affected?
Jesus is going to be so disappointed when we can’t have Easter eggs to celebrate his resurrection. May God have mercy on our sinful souls
Some eggs we get a free mug.
Is that a microcosm?
Backyard chickens.
They’re not for everyone. They function at about the level of a 4yo. 50lbs of feed will run you $20. If you’re fenced and let them roam, you use less feed. Straw. Mite prevention, which is food grade diatomaceous earth/powder. Water bowl heater for winter months.
Most municipalities allow for backyard chickens, 3-4. Roosters are another thing. They crow whenever they like and may hop/fly up where you don’t like them to be just to crow. I haven’t had issues with aggression, but they can be aggressive such that a posted beware of rooster sign will probably be believed.
Apartments can’t chicken, renters can’t usually chicken and a lot of cities don’t allow chickens through most neighborhoods…
Reality of Murica.
In my experience chicken enforcement is rarely a thing as long as you don’t have a million and dont let them roam all over the neighborhood, just got to be smart. But roosters are a sure fire way to get your neighbor’s angry so I would suggest never having roosters if you live in city limits unless your neighbors are real cool.
But that’s just my own anecdotal experience
Whatever your urban locale, look it up. The code may surprise you. Another one is backyard meat rabbits, but that one makes more people squeamish.
It’s not a matter of code. It’s just pure practicality and logic.
If you rent, most likely your landlord won’t allow it. Hell just trying to get a rental with a cat is hard enough.
If you live in apartment you likely have no place to keep chickens.
If you live in an apartment is more the likely your landlord will not allow it or the apartment management won’t allow it.
Code is irrelevant.
Obviously not apartments. Renters. A lot of home owners aren’t any more financially solvent than renters these days so chickens might help. Naturally, this idea doesn’t apply to everyone but may help some people all the same.
You can grow a plant in a Home Depot bucket. DuckDG the details. Dwarf fig is a doable patio tree. If it’s too heavy keep it on a variation of this dolly.
Tomato plants pay for themselves. Cucumbers and Brussel sprouts are also low maintenance and doable.
Eggs are woke. Only communists eat eggs.
Shit up about the eggs!
this freaking timeline! I never thought eggs would be so political. But here we are.
