While inflation last month was lower than expected, the cost of this grocery staple is surging higher.
  • CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
    20·
    7 days ago

    We just need to ban trans people harder. We’re just 85% there. We need a few more executive orders and then egg prices will come down.

    /s (but only in that Republicans actually believe this)

    • foggy@lemmy.world
      212·
      7 days ago

      If I keep posting this every time there are egg related political news stories, maybe it’ll come true?

      I put together a little short story about how I would like to see Donald Trump meet his demise. Drowning in eggs:

      The Eggsecution.

      The once-proud leader, now stripped of title and dignity, stands in the center of the barren, concrete abyss. The abandoned Olympic swimming pool—thirty feet deep, dry as bone—has become their final stage. Above, the gathered masses stretch in every direction, a writhing sea of anticipation.

      They do not jeer. They do not boo.

      They simply chant.

      “Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.”

      It starts as a murmur, a low thrum of human voices vibrating in unison. Then it grows, swelling into a deafening roar that rattles windows, that shudders in the bones of every person present. A chant as ancient as it is absurd, a single-minded invocation of punishment.

      The first egg arcs high overhead, tracing a lazy curve before splattering against the fallen leader’s shoulder. The yolk bursts, oozing down his baggy, ugly, now-useless suit. A streak of yellow, the first of many.

      Another egg. Then another.

      Then dozens.

      The first impacts make them flinch, stagger—hands raised in a futile shield. But soon there are too many to dodge, too many to deflect. They curl inward as the sky rains viscous judgment. The chant never stops.

      “Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.”

      Shells crack. Yolk drips. The scent of sulfur and shame thickens in the stagnant air. It coats their skin, their hair, their pride, turning them into something less than human. Something… egg-like.

      At the top of the pit, a child—no older than seven—steps forward. They hold their egg with both hands, cradling it like something precious. Reverent. With a deliberate motion, they lob it downward. It strikes the leader square on the forehead, exploding with an almost musical plap. The crowd erupts into a fresh crescendo of cheers, but the chant never falters.

      “Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.”

      No escape. No reprieve. The pit is smooth concrete, slick now with raw egg and humiliation. They can do nothing but stand there, endure, become part of the ritual.

      Somewhere in the throng, a vendor hawks boiled eggs. Another sells cartons to the unprepared. A man in a chicken suit waves encouragingly at the crowd.

      The night wears on, but the spectacle does not end.

      It cannot end.

      Not until the last egg is thrown. Not until the last voice is hoarse.

      Not until the world is rid of this one, failed leader, broken not by swords or exile, but by the inescapable weight of public yolk and scorn.

      “Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.”

      • thefartographer@lemm.ee
        10·
        7 days ago

        Oh my God, you post this shit every time there’s an egg-related political news story.

        I keep posting this every time there are egg related political news stories

        A promise well kept. If it does come true, I’ll sing your name to future generations as the one who put egg on the faces of Nazis

  • noride@lemm.ee
    13·
    7 days ago

    I’m a little behind on talking points, are we blaming this one on Biden, George Soros, or the Radical Left Chicken Cabal?