I just don’t get it. Why do some people hate that we exist and then lust over the idea of us behind closed doors? Why do some people just see us as sex objects?

  • argv_minus_one@beehaw.org
    0·
    1 year ago

    Most people know they shouldn’t eat the entire tub of ice cream in one sitting. They do it anyways, even if they tell their kids not to do it in the same breath. That’s because professed values often don’t line up with practiced values. You know it’s bad for you but it’s hard to deny yourself the pleasure in the moment.

    That doesn’t explain the denial and hatred and hypocrisy.

    If I were to eat a whole tub of ice cream, I would say, “Just because I did this doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. I will suffer harm as a result of doing this, and you will too if you do the same.”

    I would not deny that I did it, accuse others of my sins, seek to punish them for doing the same thing I did, and so forth.

    • Evergreen5970@beehaw.org
      1·
      1 year ago

      Ahh, I was just explaining the part where fetishism can coexist with hatred. Not the denial and hypocrisy.

      I still fundamentally don’t understand projection all that well. I’m not sure if that is something that might happen subconsciously, instead of as a planned malicious act. The only benefits I can think of from that are as a distraction tactic from your own problems.

      But I can take a crack at denial and hypocrisy in forms other than projection!

      Denial (refusing even to acknowledge it to yourself): I don’t want to deal with the fact that by my own standards, I am sinful. Maybe because I don’t want to see myself as sinful. Maybe because I don’t want to give the porn up just yet, so I ignore how “wrong” it is when watching. It’s what, 5 minutes of my life feeling guilty?

      Denial (refusing to acknowledge it to others): I don’t want other people to view me as sinful. I don’t want them to even know I have the slightest temptation towards LGBTQ+ porn, lest they think I too am LGBTQ+ or a supporter of them—because honestly, I’m not. Aside from this one temptation, I’m anti-LGBTQ+. I don’t want to be ejected from my community over a pro-LGBTQ+ view I don’t have. And I certainly don’t want anyone who respects my opinion to start looking into pro-LGBTQ+ things under the mistaken belief I might approve in some way. Fundamentally, letting others know I have a problem invites consequences down on me that I don’t want to deal with.

      Trying to punish others for the same thing you did: I know how wrong it is. And that it deserves to be punished. But frankly I’m selfish and don’t want to experience punishment, so I’ll try to hide my own involvement or excuse it while coming down hard on others. Alternatively, it’s different when I do it from when anyone else does it, so it’s okay for me to go punishment-free but not anyone else.

      • argv_minus_one@beehaw.org
        1·
        1 year ago

        They have to twist their minds into knots and spend so much time and energy on maintaining this web of untruth and misdirection.

        Meanwhile, I simply eat ice cream, admit my guilt, and move on with my life. You simply watch LGBT+ porn, say that it’s not a sin and anyone who disagrees is a lousy bigot, and that’s that. It’s true, it’s simple, and it requires almost no mental effort.

        What envy these bigots must feel. It almost makes me pity them. Almost.