Kind of funny how you say that in Dutch people are using hen, because hen has ended up being the Norwegian gender-neutral pronoun as well, but for completely different reasons. We imported hen from the Swedes I think in the early 2000s, but I only first heard about hen I think earlier this decade; the Swedes, in turn, imported hen from the Finns in the 1960s, although I think it was only in the 1990s when the use of hen in Swedish really started taking off.

The reason why hen became so successful in Norwegian is because “he” translates as han and “she” translates as hun, so a gender-neutral pronoun having the same consonants but a different vowel from the gendered pronouns is a no-brainer, right?

The Finnish pronoun hän, which refers to a singular human being regardless of gender, originated as an alteration of Proto-Finno-Ugric *sän, so you can see that hän is a close relative of the Northern Sámi pronoun son, which is used as a general third-person singular pronoun. And this relationship between hän and son is funny to me, because when I was a teenager, I proposed making Northern Sámi part of the mandatory school curriculum in Norway. The reason why I proposed this was, among other things, so that we could more easily import a gender-neutral pronoun from Northern Sámi — and end the whole gender-neutrality debate feeling a bit foolish about how we’ve lived our lives so unaware of our northern indigenous friends that we didn’t even notice that they’d had all this stuff sorted out since forever!

So while my teenage plan didn’t end up happening, Norwegians instead borrowed a close relative of the pronoun I proposed, from a close relative of that language. So I was this close to getting it right!

Some Norwegians instead prefer using singular de instead of hen, essentially as a loan translation of the English singular they. This is kind of funny to me, given the Norse history of they in English, and given the historical use of De as a second-person formal pronoun in Norwegian.

In any case, I like what you say about how “the pushback from assholes will be the same anyway”. I think that with these sorts of things, there will always be a lot of awkward-sounding proposals at first, until the speech community ends up honing in on one of the proposals through simple evolution, when there is enough of a need for standardization for that sort of honing to happen. And once that honing happens, what might’ve initially sounded awkward to your ears starts to just sound normal, because that’s just how the language is now.

You are the second person today I explain the etymological fallacy to on this platform. While the origin of the word gender is in regard to words (at least in English, the etymology goes back to meaning something like category), it long since refers to people and not only words. Believe it or not but words change their meanings.