Been alone for a very long time. Relied on myself. Everyone else relied on me too though. I had to be the guy to fix everyone else and make sure they were okay. I’ve been stuck in the quicksand my whole life. I was used to it so when they fell in I’d lift them up. Let them smile. Let them breathe. And I like doing that. I like helping people, especially the people I care for but they don’t feel the same way. So I pushed them. Helped them. Was there for all the bad. They crawled out. Things got better for them. I’m happy for them but then they just… Walk away. Then I’m left alone again.
Is this just all I’m good for? Suffering all the time so I know how to fix everyone elses pain? Not able to ever fix my own? Needing help and never getting it? Always on the edge of drowning? Watching the people I love walk out of my life?
Edit: I guess I am. I’m the dude everyone takes from but doesn’t listen to.
Fucking thanks. Thanks for proving me right. That no one gives a shit about anyone but themselves and I am completely wrong in caring about anyone. That are no one will ever fucking listen to a goddamn thing you say because they’re too arrogant to believe anything could be different from their narrow understanding of the world.
I’ll make sure to take it under advisement. Thanks.
The people that need the most help have the least capacity to help others. You should also get close to people with the strength to help others too. Having to be there for everyone will become exhausting, but not everyone is like that, you need a balance.
Also, could it be that you’re not reaching out enough to ask for help?
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Yea … in a world where everyone believes you gotta take of “number one” first, it hurts to not think that way, sometimes a lot.
Sorry you’re feeling this way. I understand it (at least to some extent). All I can say is that it is likely that there is a balance you can find, if you want to, though it might be hard and unintuitive to do so, and that you never truly know what’s around the corner if you keep moving.
it hurts to not think that way, sometimes a lot.
That almost made me cry.
I don’t want to find a balance though, I want to find people who care.
I know how you feel. Whatever balance I was referring to isn’t necessarily about balancing how you help and don’t help. It was a vague reference to balancing your own feelings and needs with the realities of the world around you. If that’s working on finding the right kinds of people, I hope that works out!
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I can understand why you are lashing out in your reply.
Apologies if I aggravated you … unintentional.
I still think I understand or understood. And I’m not suggesting at all that you change. You said that you are suffering. The “balance” I was referring to was whatever centre you might find between who you are and your values and what you need from the world around you. Sometimes that might involve changing the world, or how you approach it. Depends on what you need and what works for you. At no point was I insinuating that you need to change your values or who you are.
Beyond all that, from personal experience, all I’ll add is that refusing to change anything about yourself can be a dangerous mindset, especially if you’re already suffering. Just personal experience there. And it’s in no way a perspective I celebrate.
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Just a heads-up, you’re posting in Beehaw right now. And generally speaking, this kinda behavior isn’t acceptable around here. Might be worth checking out the Code of Conduct.
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Are you helping because you genuinely want to help, or are you helping because you’ll feel you’re “owed” something after you do? Whether that’s approval, friendship, etc? If it’s the latter, there’s a lot of baked in manipulation and dishonesty in your approach.
Focus on yourself. Help yourself. No one owes you anything and the only one responsible for you is you.
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As civilization falls apart, this is only going to get worse.
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